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Choices

Take a chance and just let go
follow fate's path and don't move slow.
Open your eyes and look at the sky.
Life goes on, just have one more try.

Where is your confidence,
where are you now?

I'm lost in the sunshine,
riding rainbows way up high.
Floating on clouds,
I'm taking a breath of optimism
and following my heart tonight.


Author notes

Sorry, it's a bit random and i haven't organised my thoughts yet.

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

  • SapereAude11
    October 4

    Edit | Reply
    This is interesting... I like the first and third stanzas a lot... sort of a seize-the-day attitude.

    But I'm not sure how the second stanza fits in. The main character of the poem seems to be talking to someone else. I would have liked to have seen it fleshed out more to give the reader a better sense of the relationship between the two characters.

    Good write though


    • Megy206
      October 5
      Edit | Reply
      I have realised that about the 2nd stanza but I wasn't sure whether to change it or not.
      I'm glad you enjoyed most of it. Thanks for your feedback.


  • Desire gold member
    October 1

    Edit | Reply

    Thank You!

    Thank You for Your entry: Choices
    This piece tugged hard at Spirit and after reading several times ~
    I'm Honored also Humbled You took the time to pen for my contest
    You took the prompt and brought forth much for the Mind to feast upon~
    Bravo!! When I digest words written, images come through that grab hard~
    Woven Strengths: Wow while reading I kept getting images of a person using
    a pin and bursting balloons~ I am seeing balloons popping around me
    Also noticed in Line 4: Life goes one, ....
    did You mean
    Life goes on...
    And...
    Line 5: Where are you confidence,
    did You mean
    Where is your confidence
    or Where are you confident
    Wanted to run those by You for review and clarity~

    After reading I kept being shown Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz
    skipping down the Yellow Brick Road but she is alone
    and reference to the Cowardly Lion for some reason
    However that is to be Interpreted.
    You give the Reader much to think about
    Love the direction You took with this prompt
    Hopefully my comment to Your write makes sense
    Powerful verse and message You have brought forth

    These words grabbed and pulled~
    I'm lost in the sunshine,
    riding rainbows way up high.
    Vivid Imagery poured in these lines...

    Thank You for sharing Your Talent also Voice
    also best wishes to You in the contest Sweet Soul
    Many blessings too
    with much love and light~ Desire~*~

    • Megy206
      October 2
      Edit | Reply
      Hi. Thanks for your comment and for the HM.
      Yes, indeed those were errors. Thank you for pointing them out. I have now corrected them.
      I'm glad you enjoyed it.