Inside her room, the canvas waits, her palette on the table.
Her paints, the best she can afford, the brushes, made of sable.
Her past attempts hang on the wall, small parts of her they hold.
And yet she feels they’re not quite right, her life they haven’t told.
The piece she feels she must create, is buried in her soul.
The perfect one, her masterpiece, is now her only goal.
For weeks and weeks the brushes fly as canvas is collected.
They all look good, but not to her, another work rejected.
She feels a need to take a break, and slow this hectic pace.
She drops the brush and leaves the room, and then she sees the face.
She’s greeted with a beaming smile, and pudgy little cheeks.
Tears of joy run down her face, how she’s wasted all these weeks.
The love she feels as she’s standing there, is bursting from her heart.
She runs to take her from her crib, her living piece of art.
She takes the child into her arms, and now she feels elated.
The masterpiece she longed to make, she already had created.
Author notes
This was written for a friend of mine who is a struggling artist and a new mom. It was the first piece that I had written for someone who broke down in tears with joy. It was one of my proudest moments.
Written March 13th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- Impress Me by Shadowsong.
1000 points, ended November 14, 2006, 57 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Poet On AP:Season:2:Round:1 by wakingdevil.
600 points, ended November 25, 2006, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your best ! by vasi.
700 points, ended March 10, 2007, 123 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Bring It All by Simply Simple.
1800 points, ended February 26, 2008, 120 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Insert Good Title Name Here by Abidoodle.
1750 points, ended July 13, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make this THE largest Contest EVER on AP [enter, enter, enter!] by Symphony.
18000 points, ended April 28, 1011 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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WOW - this was so vivid, like a painting, and then for some inexplicable reason, that ending brought tears to my eyes.
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A lovely piece, the flow is superb. I especially like the last verse. Very well penned, good luck with it in the contest
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Awwww. How sweet I really liked this. It's probably the most heart-warming piece in the contest so far. I will probably say more eventually. But sadly, I have algrebra homework. Oh Joy. Best of Luck.
~It is very true that sometimes we forget the most important things. I really liked the way you ended it by saying that the baby was the masterpiece. I can see why it would make someone cry. I am a total sucker for sappy stuff. Thanks for making me smile. -
Oh my that IS a stunner! So true, great you shared that with her. Great art comes from life not the other way around.
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It's really stunning... I love the ending...
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Hmmm very intersting. When I ask myself is there anything that is wrong with this poem nothing really comes to mind but that doesn't mean its great. All around I thought you did a great job writng this and you score will probably be somewhere around the 80's out of a 100 message me if you want a score.
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Hmmm very intersting. When I ask myself is there anything that is wrong with this poem nothing really comes to mind but that doesn't mean its great. All around I thought you did a great job writng this and you score will probably be somewhere around the 80's out of a 100 message me if you want a score.
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This is truly an amazing poem!Very well structured, well expressed with great rhyming and a sweet flow to it.Thanks for entering and best of luck
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WoW-
Excellent Masterpiece nike
Your verses always grab the reader and take them on a Journey~
This is no different
Loved it!!
Congratulations on the trophy win for this Magnificent
write~
Keep that ink flowing and Your Inspiration going~
Thank You for sharing Your talent
Many blessings to You~
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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This is beautiful and very touching. A well deserved gold. Well done. Val.
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EXCELLENT POEM
Congratulations on the Gold. Nice poem. Very heartfelt. Take care. Sandy
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This is very nice and I can see why she cried! The Shaker
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truly beautiful..I can feel the colors shes placed on the cavans so many times before
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beautifully sweet
I know exactly how she feels. This was the most beautiful poem I have ever read. You're a gift to the world.
~Rhiannon -
beautiful. I liked this a lot. good rhyme, your rhythm never falters...(hard to find, trust me) and a nice message along with it. keep up the good work.
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Great Read
This was a great poem. Your friend is lucky to have you as a friend. Good Luck in my contest!!!!
Luke -
Oh my goodness this IS a masterpiece!! Very beautifully written. It definitely deserves the Gold. Bravo! Congratulations. Wonderful job on this. Thank you for sharing.
Jeannie D Hunter
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Wow...this was very well written. I think I'm just wasting time by writing more, so I'll just leave it at that. Brilliant write, good luck in the contest.
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Wow, this was a great work! It almost made me say "awwwww" at the end! I like the rhyme, definatly not forced, which, I might add, is something I struggle with myself.
The love emitted from this was beautiful, Nothing can come between the love of a mother to a child, and you have portrayed that wonderfully!
Great job, and good luck in my contest! -
Really great piece of poetry, the feelings in this are excellent!!!
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This is a truly beautiful poem. It reminded me of when my sister got pregnant with my niece and my brother-in-law said "This is my anniversary presant right here" and touched my sisters stomach. Brought back a good memory this did. Keep up the awesome poetry!!! Thank you for entering my contest.
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this is just great !woaw ! its so wonderful ! i loved this ! thanks for the entry ! best wishes in the contest !
your fan,
TRUTHWRITER*** -
It is really honestly truly beautiful! Absolutely inspirational. That desperation at trying to create perfection and the realisation that perfection is in those you love. It's absolutely gorgeous, the rhyme is sensational, the flow flawless. I'm in awe.. such a simple concept and written with such magnitude! Well done and thanks for commenting on my poem Cerebral Death! xxx
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nice work, I like the story line to it, and i like how you ended it. Good luck in the contest.
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THIS WAS A GOOD POEM!!!I LIKED IT...
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A great lovely poem.Why you don't write these days? Shahrzad
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A great masterpiece indeed, so happy I saw you on line and clicked your name.. a truly beautiful touching poem you penned..keep up this great work..thank you for sharing..Linda
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i believe the others say it all
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This is absolutely stunning. My boyfriend is a struggling artist alos, os I can relate to it in that sense, but the whole piece is just brimming with ideas and gorgeousness, especially:
The love she feels as she’s standing there,
Is bursting from her heart.
She runs to take her from her crib,
Her living piece of art.
Thankyou.
Good luck in the contest! -
WOW.....this is one of the best writes i have read in forever....i love your style and this idea....great work...best wishes
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OMG! I am so glad that I ran across this piece! You used such great descriptions...which created fantastic imagery! I also love the last 3 stanzas the most. Your child seems to always be the best work of art in the world. Nobody sees more beauty in their child than the parents themself!(grammatical errors?)
Well, keep up the great work! I could never create such a masterpiece! -
Amazing! I did not expect the ending. I love it. It's beautiful and has LOTS of meaning...SOOOO good!
~Liz (AF) -
This is absolutly beautiful.the ending was very unexpecting..this is a master piece indeed..I am sure your friend will love it .. I did ..EXCELLENT!!
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What a wonderful, wonderful poem this is. I'm so glad I stumbled across it!
I can so identify with the sentiment here... if I achieve nothing else in my whole life... I only have to look at my two children and know that I have succeeded.
Beautiful... and such perfect rhyme and meter to boot!
~ Louise
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What a wonderful discovery she made when she realized the real deal was there all along. Wonderful and enlightening piece you have penned here. Best of luck~
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This was a good piece. The title worked well with it. The poem told a good story, and had a steady plot running through it. Keep writing, this was an interesting description of the friend although I'm a little suspicious of whether some of the details were put in just to make this rhyme
All the best,
Pozo
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a very sweet turn of plot. This poem captures both the frustrations of creating art and the joys of motherhood. It like the deeper meaning which is suggested. That art itself is a thing of nature, and artists reveal or expose art rather than create it (as a mother does not truly create life).
Cheers! -
wow this is amazeing , i don't even have ne thing to describe it. awesome write
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very awesome. i love poems about artists! especially when they end so beautifully. very cool! keep writing such thought ful pieces!
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This is wonderful! Simply wonderful!
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Wow!!!!! yes, I am an artist (i guess one could say) so I have went through this problem... Great rhyme! I love the ending, aq very good point!!!!! Good luck and keep it up!!!!!
Gem~chan -
Very well done! Nice rhymes and a great story throughout it all! Wonderful Job!
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very nicely done, loved the ending.
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the early bird gets the worn, the second mous
wow.. I loved it simply loved it keep up the work!! -
good
very well done,it flows well too.the best thing you could ever creat is life to another person. you did a realy good job writting this. keep it up.
Peace to ya
Beth -
This is a beautiful poem, and the title couldn't be more fitting. It, itself, is a masterpiece... But perfection is impossible, in my mind... I love how it flows, except this line:
"Tears of joy run down her face,
How she’s wasted all these weeks."
The syllables are slightly off, but it's still amazing. Excellent job
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I cant describe to you how beautiful this poem is. This poem to me is a masterpiece. You got skills, dude. This is so great.Thanks for the great read.
God's best no less,
Carmen -
Very well writen it is fatastic!
Wow... this poem is absolutely amazing!!! You are such a great writer it isn't funny!!! Well we all know who is going to win the contest your in now I don't want to enter because I know I won't win (I never do anyway) well yeah keep up the awesome writing this is fatastic it is definetly the best poem I have read today and In awhile!! so keep it up I really enjoyed this and I am applauding it and adding it to my favorites!! -
Wonderful
This is a great poem... Truely.. Very realistic to me... Keep it up -
Wow, look at all those applauds! This poem is very beautiful and sweet, but not cheesy like what you would read on a Hallmark card or anything. lol. I'm sure your friend is very impressed. Great write!
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WOW
Wow, I already read another poem in this contest so that I had one to put in my author's comments thing, and I really wish I would've read yours first. . . This is a really wonderful poem. . . I really loved the ending the best. When I first started reading this, I thought it was going to be kind of a dumb poem about an artist, but it's like through reading the poem I grew to care about her, and characters are really hard to care about, most of the time. . . This is REALLY well-written, and I wish you good luck in the contest! -
I really enjoyed reading this, keep up the good work.
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The rhyming is done fairly well, and the story is nice. All in all, not a bad write.
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great write very surprising ending good job on this keep up the good work congrats on a trophy *Jordan**
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I want to applaud this a million time. That was the best twist ever...I hardly know what to say. Extremely beautiful work.
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I loved this. So many people forget how precious and important their children are, what masterpieces. I know for I've tried for many years to create one of my own, alas without success. I think everyone who has a child should have this framed and hung on their wall. Thank you for sharing. Patti
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Who wouldn't appreciate this poem? It flows nicely
with flawless meter. You've told a good story with
this and you've told it well. I enjoyed the fact that
the ending was in no way predictable, yet so true
to life. -
This is poetry
They say you have to kiss a thousand frogs before you find a prince(ss). On AP it sometimes feels the same when viewing people's offerings. I see maybe 1 in 20 that I feel are worth commenting on, and of them there is usually a little niggle.
BUT
I was enthralled with your offering from the first verse.
It appears effortless and spotless (However I am sure you spent a lot of effort on it).
It jogs along with a nice swing and an easy relaxed style. It has a wonderful ending which, even though it was signalled from the beginning, is extremely poignant.
Fabulous.
I hope I see more like this.
Thank You.
Jim S -
I was pleased to stumble across this piece again - though it leaves me with mixed feelings. You see, I am somewhat of a curmudgeon and I hate that I like this piece so much.
The opening image intrigues me as it speaks to much of what any artist must feel at some time or another. It is in the maternal sense that I get squeamish. Mama Goose, I'm not but there was something of such sincerity in this, I couldn't resist.
Thank you for putting it again in my path.
Jane -
Wow perfect rhythm and format omg and the meaning behind this was fantastic this was a fantastic poem keep up the good work no wonder so many people applauded this it was great good luck in the contest but not to much cuz i'm in it to and i think i might need the luck.
Sincerely, T -
Indeed this is a masterpiece. Very well written, keep up the writing and never stop.
Good Luck in the contest
~Jenn~ -
What could I possible add.... this is BRILLIANT!!!!! WOW
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Beautifully worded poem. It has so much of life, so much emotion in it.
For weeks and weeks the brushes fly
As canvas is collected.
They all look good, but not to her,
Another work rejected.
I can read that this piece was written with a lot of passion. Great work, loved it lots!!! -
i cant say much more than its amazeing and very heartfelt
i might only be 15 but i already no the greatist thing in life is to be able to give life to another -
Wow this was amazing. a child is a beautiful thing that really is a masterpiece and this was so heartfelt it made me want to cry. The imagery was excellent and the rhyme was good to. I loved this poem. Keep it up. Thank you for your comment on my poem, and it was neither a no for sex or marriage I am only 14. It was a no to a boy that really likes me and I like him to but I just think it's better to wait. Well excellent job on this.
-Jen- -
This is absolutely beautiful. It is exactly the way that I think people should look at their children it is amazing. Great Job!!!
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This is one of my favorite poems, now. I showed this to my mom, and she started to cry! This is absolutely the sweetest, most touching poem I've read on Allpoetry... I noticed the rhyme scheme, which flowed well and wasn't contrite.
I must sound so mushy and corny, but I love this poem. Wonderful job, this poem is a Masterpiece.
<3 -
This is such a sweet poem, you did such a great job writing it. I could picture the whole thing in my mind and aw it was just beautiful. Good luck in the contest! - Teresa
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wow....thats about all i can say..what every inspired this wonderful right must have been something...wow....its flows wonderfully and it speaks the truth....this will definitaly be the winner if i was running the contest and im even in the contest and i ithink this is LOADS better than mine....good luck though i dont think you need it for how stunning this is beautiful write!<3 amy
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this poem has so many emotions mixed up in it. It is like wow it is an amazing write it has totally inspired me to create some thing beautiful tthankyou for a great read
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Not only is this so heartwarming , it is also a write that flows so easily of the tongue , and to get both is sometimes a struggle , but you overcame that with perfection. I wish you the best in the contest and walk away with a smile
Reenie
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Wow, that was nothing short of astounding. Wonderful imagery and I loved the picture that you created. I don't know what to say, It was fabulous. Good job and good luck
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that was really good.this is a masterpiece you are a very good writer.it had a nice rhyme,a beautiful ending and you have used a great and wide range of vocabulary. overall a brilliant write.
Edited on May 24, 12:31 because 'DUH!!!!!!!! i am thick'. -
Indeed this was a masterpiece I hope you win the contest.
Keep up the good work and never stop penning my friend. Because we all can tell what you're good at. And that's writing Good luck in the contest
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Thank you for entering the Summer Survival Series Poetry Island Competition .. Watch the Round 1 Column for the results and list of those moving on to Round 2.
Thanks again and good luck.
Cvillelisa, Desiree Darkk and Son of the Moon -
This was beautiful. I loved your rhyming, it made your poem flow nice and smooth. Also, you used some great vocabulary which made your poem interesting and it makes me consider you a great poet. Vocabualy can be tough to add into poetry, sometimes it is very difficult to find the right word that rhymes or that tells the read what you want to tell them, but you did an amazing job at conquering this hassle. Amazing job! Great poem! I loved it. Thank you so much for entering my contest. Good luck.
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Full of emtion,excellent!
Absolutely awesome Nike! POem made this grandma cry! since I just had my 2 little ones 4 Mother's Day Weekend. The new precious memories made are still so very fresh. I love the style,content,rhyme,tribute to the love of a child. Truly a child is God's Masterpiece! I haven't been on line regularly 4 so long. I know I can never catch-up. Things r prairie r very busy. Acupuncture has released my body from a pain prison. I have quality to my life again. It's a miracle from God. Living everyday at if it were the very last. My plans r often thrown to the wind. God decides that my plans and His r not the same 4 the day. I pray to be an obedient servant.Your talent is a gift and just keeps growing. I'm never disappointed to read your work. Thank you, God bless You, keda -
What a beautiful poem! One that speaks to the truth that for almost all of us, what we search so hard for is generally right under our noses! This had a wonderful flow to it; the meter and rhyme were flawless, but the story you told was a powerful one! I loved the way you said that the child was "the living work of art." How very true, my friend! Beautiful work, here! A most deserving Gold win! Congratulations!
Paula
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This is absolutely stunning. Wow. I have nothing to add, nothing to say..but wow. A WELL deserved win.
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Hello nike,
I am coming by to critique your poem/ application for my APTP contest. Firstly, thank you for taking thhe time to enter. I have had near eight applications so far, but need many more. If you know anyone that you feel may enjoy joining, please have them stop by. It'd be appreciated.
Alright, so this was near a flawless piece! I really enjoyed it, because I felt as though I was able to connect to you through it. It gave me a sense that I almost knew you in a way. In poetry, that is definitely something that a reader loves to experience. It is apparent that you have talent. I must credit you, as well, on the formatting/ styling of the page. The colors/ background and such really flow well together. Overall, if I had to make a "critique" it would just be about the capitalization of the first letter of every line. It isn't exactly needed, but... you know, it is not anything at all that subtracted from your piece. This is an excellent write. I wish you the best of luck. Results will be sent as soon as we have a fair amount of applicants. Currently, there are only eight.
Justin -
Hiya Told you you would win!
Well done!
All my best!
God Bless You!
XxSarahxX AKA XxJellyBeanxX AKA XxSingle GirlxX -
THis is such a beautiful piece! I never expected the ending! Excellent job. Well worth your trophy!
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omg... congrats on first in the contest.. this is an amazing piece.. i love this. its so inspirational.. it kinda sounds like when my sister paints.. sometimes i copy and paste parts of the poem that took my breath away.. but its not like i can copy and paste the whole poem.. great job i absolutly love it.. its deserves every applause and trophy.. and one more applause .. prolly more. this is amazing and i love it so much ::claps hands::
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That was such a wonderful read! Your words danced down the page. The rhyme and flow were excellent, and I must say the end was so very touching...I have two very small wonders myself...Good Luck in the contest...
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Once again I loved it~!
I think that this is gonna be one of the hardest contest ever on AP!
There are 3poem that took my breath away and your is one of them!
You have a gr8 talent that you have shone exreamlly well in this poem!
Good Luck
All my Best!
God Bless You !
XxSarahxX AKA XxellyBeanxX AKA XxSINGLE gIRLXx -
I really liked this a lot. I am sorry I really don't know what to say about it that doesn't sound extremely cheesy, to be honest I am literally lost for words to explain how much I loved this poem. The flow was great, the words nicely chosen, the subject was wonderful.. but all that sounds cheesy because I know it says nothing next to what I felt. Nicely done, this was really great work!
~RoberT -
This was really good. I love the ending and I think this is so sweet!
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This was a really good poem, I liked how it started off where you are trying to make this beautiful peice of artwork, then you realized you already have done it. Good job and Good luck in my contest.
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aww, this poem is so sweet, great job I love it!
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This was completely amazing, I love it... wow... the ending I didn't expect at all....
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I liked it alot! I don't have much to say about it, and what I did have to say was pretty much covered a few times by everyone else. Just wanted you to know that I enjoyed it!
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I want to echo what a few others said. The poem had a great flow to it. I also was able to draw my own connections to several lines. Good luck!
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wonderful
Definitely worth all the applause. Only suggestion I could make would be a hint to help with too many commas.
If you write a stanza out as prose and then punctuate it becomes simplier to figure out.
She feels a need to take a break, And slow this hectic pace.
She drops the brush and leaves the room, And then she sees the face.
and now:
She feels a need to take a break and slow this hectic pace.
She drops the brush and leaves the room and then she sees the face.
Hope that makes sense.
John
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This piece gave me goose bumps, because as a mother I can relate to that feeling. Damn straight that person has created one of her most miraculous masterpieces of her life.
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This is really neat! I enjoyed readint this a lot. And the ending was sooo cute and sooo sweet. ^_^ So glad I stopped to read it.
-Much love
-Kayla -
I thought this poem was so awesome. I loved how she realized she had already made art, without realizing it for so long. Great write.
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what a sweet and endearing tribute to a real work of art that is sheer perfection in everyway...it's funny how sometimes we tend to look beyond what has been starring at us right from the beginning...if we can only learn to pull back at trying times to fully grasp at the natural wonders before us, then we would know that inspiration comes from even the simplest gifts that surround us and fill our lives making us who we are inside! Good job on this write...
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This is very interesting, it took me a second to adjust to the structure of the poem, I am not used to reading poems based like this. However i enjoy the story behind this, its very nice and touching.
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So many of us forget to look in fron of us for what we need. We get lost in a croud of discontent people and let their voices lead us to the wrong side of life.
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