Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

~Tin Roof Rag Doll~

~Tin Roof Rag Doll~

His chest leads to another world,
where in the focus amidst the fog
the same angels that cast him down
inhale the prayers of death and echo his failed purpose of all that he attempted.

He’s trapped beneath the webbed ice of filth and rage.
Where he embraces the pain of predictable situations,
And gnaws at the two red lights that seize the night.

Out of the black abyss of porcelain termites,
Came a tragic heroine,
Holding her mangled heart,
In her scar infested hands.
The look of a demon,
But the eyes of a fallen angel.

Her wings of fire,
a scratch pad for his inner salvation,
sculpting her gray sky eyes,
with a tender withdrawal of mutilated despair,
her wiccan heart the ornament of their eventual cursings.

Running with demons,
To cast out your curiosity of my out cast expectations,
And my more fragile than glass cage,
Imprisoning my enslaved closure.

If Concealment truly is confession,
Why does the moon have to cater to the traveling drunken cheer of gun violence and leather skinned lullabies?

Socially conscious probations.
All the things I’ve come to love in my attempt to see,
That because you are here,
All the things I’ll never say are silencing my tongue by your decaying flesh.
Forcing my endless addiction to the lie inside my mind,
Into a world you once thought undeserving.
The wailing of my psycho maniac confessions of aphephobia

There’s glory in denial.
I force screams of metallic flames and narcissistic restorations,
until it’s real again.
It’s easier in their hands.
Because they look down on me,
Put me where my narcoleptic cracked light,
Rapes the void of being a tin roof rag doll to their black blood chants of forgotten hours. 


Your utterance raptures dead memories of Intestinal bruisings,
And immortal fire suits.
Tea steamed enlightenment,
Materialized from tasteless kisses,
And echoing innocence from front door entrances.
Influential abstraction,
And lubricated butterfly wings.

A holocaust of misanthropic convulsions.
A dark carnival of teary eyed clawings,
And apple seeds of frozen waterfalls,
Breathe impalement from tarnished metal and bleeding noses of teen parenting and centerfold shadows of self matters.

Figurative deaths in a god of sarcastic apathy,
that wakes you up short of dead children screaming from the basement of  widowed armies and assorted anesthetics paraded by the war paint of black eyes and boiling blood.

Burning the safe hold held between my personalities,
The piano of my broken sentiments carve the standing on the lone wolf he renders.
Elongating decrepit fingers inside my haven of atomic destruction.
insomniac constrictions attract a ‘bulge’ of endless abbreviated cowardice,
And justifications on behalf of  suicide letters,
Where the words are entangled,
And pulsing urges to waltz with the dead caroler of a love unrequited.

My breast cripple with defeat against the dances lost existence.
Fabricating a place where you open your legs for some substance,
And dead etiquette.
Falling at your feet,
Sleepy on pain killers.
Yearning for their insignificance,
To find something to make this a false spirit.
A misinterpreted vision…
Anything.

You tell me >.>

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 24 of 24

  • Emo-Puppy
    November 16

    Edit | Reply

    OMG WOW

    this is probally one of the best poems i have ever read its totally amazing sissy your a great write


  • Roseamongweeds
    November 7
    Edit | Reply
    I loved the way you expressed yourself in this poem, you have a way with words, it was absolutely gut-wrenching!


  • Seraph Avalon
    November 7
    Edit | Reply
    Wow you were right. Is one of my favorite writes from you. It's so true and breath taking. I could read again and again. Keep it up! Must read more! X3


    • xxuglyducklingxx
      November 7

      Edit | Reply

      Thank You! XD!

      I thought you might like it. I have no idea why, but I am so glad you did. You just don't understand how glad I am. I'm so glad it didn't like make your eye bleed or anything. I'm trying to keep it up. I've got some serious writer's block right now, but I'm fighting to win. I appreciate the time, the read, the comment, and the applause. I look forward to reading your work as well. !


      • Seraph Avalon
        November 7

        Edit | Reply

        YOUR WELCOME! X3

        It's fine I've wrote some pretty emotional stuff before to. I should be right now since I'm really made at someone. She use to be my friend but I said I didn't want to be her's anymore cause she was treating my like shit. I'm not letting her get into my personal life and talk about me behind my back and to my face! And she's all surprised that i don't want to be her friend lol I made her so mad. I'm so happy -grins evily-


        • xxuglyducklingxx
          November 7
          Edit | Reply

          O.O;;

          Do I need to cut a hoe?! -lol-. I'm sorry she was treating you like that. You don't deserve that. Speaking from my own devastation of something like that, I can say I don't wish things like that on even the cruelest of people. But, I'm glad you're finding a way to smile through all of this. !

  • um.....wow.....This is breath taking. Tell me what was your inspiration for this piece? Excellent, absolutely. Thank you for sharing.


    • xxuglyducklingxx
      November 7
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you so much!! :P!

      I actually like this piece of mine, the more I read it. ! My inspiration. The only man I ever truly loved, my real dad, betrayal from my past and death, which I thought once to be a true friend. Scorned me with the embrace of light. >.>! A whole bunch of things really!! A metaphor of a meataphor if you will.


  • John BoSox
    October 31

    Edit | Reply
    Your word expression is extraordinary,,Wow,You go deep into the darkness..You have so much talent..I would like you to expand on your topics of poetry..Pick an emotion, such as love, depression, anger..and go for it..try it..awasy from the darkness...ok??


    • xxuglyducklingxx
      November 5
      Edit | Reply

      Thank You So Much!

      I appreciate this. Thank you for taking the time to read, comment, and applaud. I have an expanded vocabulary. I fear though, I failed the emotions and situations because there are never going to be the right words or enough. ! Thank you for the compliment on my talent, I try. But a real writer's work is never done. There is so much wrong with this piece...it needs so much done to it, but I appreciate your comment. It inspires me to only make it better. ! And, I write of love, depression and anger. O.O;; Just the darker sides to those.


  • GuiltedShadow gold member
    October 30

    Edit | Reply

    There’s glory in denial.
    I force screams of metallic flames and narcissistic restorations,
    until it’s real again.
    It’s easier in their hands.
    Because they look down on me,
    Put me where my narcoleptic cracked light,
    Rapes the void of being a tin roof rag doll to their black blood chants of forgotten hours. 

     

    You are a gifted artist. This is brilliant. I see you have a lot in common with my Mandi as well. Keep writing out your pain baby. Write it out as Mandi and I do.

    Also, I'll tell you like I told her... The glory of writing is you can kill whoever hurt you in a poem. I killed my ex 3 times already. Maybe 4. lol


  • Antipodi
    October 26
    Edit | Reply
    some wonderful dark imagery here dear poet you tell the story in verse well a very creative piece

    • xxuglyducklingxx
      October 30
      Edit | Reply

      Thank You! :D!

      I appreciate that. It means a lot coming from a talent like your own. !

  • diseasedpoet
    October 25
    Edit | Reply

    you are inventive ,talented &effortless

    I love it simple i love it


    • xxuglyducklingxx
      October 30
      Edit | Reply

      Thank You.

      I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for taking the time to read, compliment, and applaud. !


  • Dark-Ecanus27
    October 5

    Edit | Reply

    beautiful

    this is a beautiful write, but it is sperattic. it seems to be missing somthing that will tie it all together. i am always amazed at what you write and am jealous of your vocabulary . very well done.

    • O.O;;

      Thank you. What exactly do you think it is missing??? Where would you say it was missing something?? What needs to be tied together. And you have no reason to be amazed at my work m'dear...espeically if you have ever read your own. And you have a pretty extensive vocabulary..you just don't use it in your poetry. Thank you though.

  • TheProdigyPoetWolf
    September 28
    Edit | Reply

    :o

    wowowow nice!


  • Fallen-Thumper gold member
    September 28

    Edit | Reply

    Wow!!!!

    you have such a way with words sissy!
    This is brilliant and i loved it so much, you have you some great imagery and everything just caught my eye, i couldnt leave the page. Amazing!
    I really did love it and it says so much. Great write and fantastic!


    • xxuglyducklingxx
      September 28
      Edit | Reply

      O.O;;!!

      Thank you Sissy!!! I tried. I've had some major writer's block. And I'm not sure that I'm through with it. Yeah, you know me. I'm all about a metaphorical imagery. ! Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment and applaud sissy! I love you!


  • Miss Macabre
    September 26

    Edit | Reply
    This has a lot of imagery, but without punctuation or stanzas it doesn't have good flow. I also suggest changing the background, I had to highlight a lot of it.

    First, punctuation can help with flow a lot. I would start with that. Add some comas in area of pause, break paragraphs into stanzas.

    Some revised bits:

    His chest leads to another world,
    where in the focus amidst the fog
    the same angels that cast him down
    inhale the prayers of death and echo his failed purpose of all that he attempted.

    Her wings of fire,
    a scratch pad for his inner salvation,
    sculpting her gray sky eyes
    with a tender withdrawal of mutilated despair,
    her wiccan heart the ornament of their eventual cursings.

    Why does the moon have to cater to the traveling drunken cheer of gun violence and leather skinned lullabies?

    *Run spell check, I think I saw some minor errors.*

    Also, might want to state what aphephobia is at the end.

    This has some intense imagery, just needs to be polished in the punctuation area.


1 - 24 of 24