I want him beautiful and gaunt
With stormy eyes of blue that haunt
My day dreams and my dreams at night.
I want his skin so thin and white
That I can see the veins beneath.
I want him cynical and cold,
His body fresh, his spirit old,
To run my fingers through his hair
And breathe the scent that lingers there.
I want to be his sweet relief.
I want his fleshy lips on mine
To cause our souls to intertwine.
I want our love to never die,
For him to be the one that I
Will never threaten to release.
Author notes
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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This is haunting.
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He's not the man for me I prefer mine tanned and muscular lol white skin with veins showing through reminds me of old skin not young but whatever turns you on I guess.
A very sensuous read as as others have said rhyme and meter perfect ( not that I'm an expert just know when it flows easily)
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Before I get into anything . . . the first two lines of stanza two make me think of Gregory House (from House, MD, if you're not familiar with the show). Not that you needed that visual, or anything . . .
What can I say? Your imagery is stellar, and your meter is perfect. Your rhymes are just amazing. My Senior English teacher might have beaten meter and rhyme into me, but you have been a real example and inspiration!
Keep it up, hun.
Zach.
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Aw, thank you! And ha ha. That's funny. I've watched a few episodes at a friend's house.
I'll have to message you and tell you who really inspired this one.
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The meter is fantastic and I love the imagery. The rhyme is good at well. Parts of this poem provide me with old memories. This was beautifully written and I really enjoyed reading this. You did an awesome job. Keep up the great work.
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is all i can say except it reminds me of twilight which is a good thing i love it!
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Oh this is SO beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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