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Cognizant death

Cognizant death

Time devours all in its everlasting fury.
Flesh to bones, bones to dust...
all is gone in this decaying lust.
Your alive till you're corpse is in.
Pain is an inevitable predator
and we are its lousy quarry.

Hands get tired on unheard prayers,
lays down a soul in trounce.
Those last words dead and buried,
innocence sold and raped in greed.
In those dark rooms solitude creeps.
In one's dreams the haunting breeds.

Once they were young and now foul,
behind locked doors in darkness
… their plead weeps.
Deeds of our past,
in our memories they surpass.
Haunting and taunting those shadows cast.

As time plays its game;
Nothing is left to blame.
The bones in closet would shrink and shred,
Those lies told are left silent and cold.
Those cries will only breed
and be left without anything to believe.

Last words, dead and buried
Innocence sold and raped in greed.
Hands tired in prayers,
Lays down a soul in defeat.
Pure love once sowed in soul
now wounds in mortality crawls.

In dark rooms, solitude creeps.
In one's dream haunting breeds.
Once young now foul,
behind locked doors
in darkness they weep.
....
And to all this Death is just merely the beginning.

Author notes

Contest Entry in Contest Mysterious prompts. Reserve to find out. I am your muse. by Catacomb.
Prompt 1: Death is merely the beginning

thanks for changing the prompt... previous one didn't make any sense to me.

A contest entry

What are you interpretations?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • pyarkavaada
    October 25

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    This is so wonderfully well written. I read it over a few times, and I deff enjoy it. I especially like " Last words, dead and buried Innocence sold and raped in greed.
    Hands tired in prayers", it's strongly spoken. great job!


    • abuyi
      October 25
      Edit | Reply
      thank for reading and appreciating my work


  • spideracer gold member
    October 19

    Edit | Reply

    Fantastic write!

    This poem could be turned into a song, for there are lines here that would sound great screamed out off a loud speaker. I could see Metallica singing this, or even Iron Maiden, Megadeth and a number of others. This is really, really good. I've read it twice and will read it again before I leave you. Take care and good luck.


    • abuyi
      October 26
      Edit | Reply
      thanks for reading it... i was kinda worried with this write but it turned out good i guess.


  • Mehra Sultan
    October 17

    Edit | Reply

    Potent

    I read it almost five times still couldn't pick whick part i love the most, I love it all...One of the best poems I have ever read...Very well written...And good luck in the contest

  • MacDowell
    October 13

    Edit | Reply
    Dark themes are not my preferred reading but good poetry comes through no matter the subject, and I think you have a firm and convincing concept here and you write it well. The reader has the chance to see these daunting prospects and in the end,...the beginning, wow!...MacD

    • abuyi
      October 13
      Edit | Reply
      thanks for reading Mac, i am really glad that you like my poem. it seems your new here...welcome to ap & feel free to move around the site.. if you want any help regarding anything in this site i be glad to help you

      thanks again for you encouraging words

  • "and we are its lousy quarry." A great line, and such truth in the final line. Sometimes a poem's greater beauty is in its content/heart, as opposed to its form. Your expression is very earnest and detailed in this. There is some great wordplay in this ("haunting and taunting").

    Good luck in the contest.


    • abuyi
      October 13
      Edit | Reply
      thanks light .. i really appreciate ur comment


  • EternallyAlone
    October 6

    Edit | Reply
    it's dark, dangerous, a warning, and a story all at the same time. Beautiful imagery and I liked the recurring verse as I wanted to read those again. Very excellent


  • Catacomb
    October 5
    Edit | Reply
    Very well done. Excellent take on the prompt and vivid imagery. I like how you rhymed in some parts, it fits good with the poem. Thank you.


  • Roy Flynn silver member
    October 4

    Edit | Reply
    Terrific! I enjoyed reading this work. So many great things going on
    "Doings of our past,
    in our memories they surpass.
    Haunting and taunting
    the shadows cast. "

    I loved this stanza it really stood out to me. just beautifull.

    "On one's dreams the haunting breeds"
    I think "In one's dream the haunting breeds" sounds better,

    "Once they were young and now foul"
    I know you say this again at the end a different way
    Imo just take out the "now" maybe and it'll be the repetition you're looking for

    Again these are just my comments little things i saw. But all in all i thoroughly enjoyed this work. I look forward to reading more from you. Much love

    • abuyi
      October 4
      Edit | Reply
      thanks for pointing out the "in" ... it does makes a difference
      regarding "now" i guess that line is not clear enough, what i meant to say is when we"the people of which my poems talks about" were young" young here is just not about the time phase.. its the characteristics, being careless,fearless " and now foul.. which means getting older and all the things they did are coming back to them.. all those careless things are coming back to them.. in short their doings of their youth are coming back and haunting them at the present. this poem is dark so it's understood the people of in this poem reflects on all the wrong doings or guilt of the people of this world.

      so you see "now has a huge significance in that line and i cant remove it.. if you have another idea to rephrase the line and still have the same meaning i would like to know

      thanks for your time and effort on my poem


  • Catacomb
    October 1
    Edit | Reply
    New prompt: death is merely the beginning

  • Catacomb
    September 27

    Edit | Reply
    Prompt - 'sunset is set, expect this to be your last with our vast return. As Death is set at three sixes where hill beacons burn. Darkness undress your descending skirts, yield a thirsting altar. Blood red, yet still un-fed, lips distend- ending time to falter' Scorched Earth Erotica - Cradle of Filth


    • abuyi
      September 30
      Edit | Reply
      hmm.. this prompt is worsening my writing block.. can you change it????

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