i know it's somewhere in the past.

you painted the walls and doorways and your wrists red last night,
and today you swore you'd seen exactly where it all went wrong

you say you're so happy now, that the past is in the past
but you try too hard sweetheart, and i found you crying last night.
i didn't say anything though, because you didn't need anybody to save you,
let alone me.

the sky fell down tonight, pulled down by all our lies like how i don't need the taste of vomit or tobacco or vicodin anymore, and you don't need to see your blood to feel alive.
maybe this is how it ends.

you were lonely, you swore,
nothing more,
you were just lonely, and you needed affection and somebody to touch you, to need you, to want you, and you knew she loved you.
she loved everybody.

you're going a little bit crazy in a hospital bed, screaming her name and ripping at your stitches and you're saying over and over again, you know where it went wrong, you fixed it.
you're saying over and over again that you're happy, that you don't need this but they're trying to tell you that happy people don't shoot themselves,

you said her name  between your lies, said that you needed her and she was gone.
they thought you meant she'd died,
and maybe they were right, because she has sort of died, to you anyway.

the floor fell through tonight, like it'd just had enough and decided i could live without it and now i'm facedown in the first floor bathroom.
she's standing over me and i think i've just seen a ghost because she doesn't come around here anymore, and she tells me that it'll never change.
i thought i'd struggle and pull my head up but i heard her and i think she might be right.

we want her back and we miss her and we wish we could go back but we don't have to,
because it's not like anything has changed
except for her.
it always came back to you.