watery eyes
Fallen tears
broken memories
dreaming of the years
this passion
so fast
so gone
a plastered smile
on my face
thus is drawn
fooling the naked eye
with such a sight
so no one knows
of this wreched battle
everyday
that I fight
Comments
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Battles lost
We fight ourselves on a daily basis
Time holds us within its stasis
Battles we cannot hope to win
The battles lost before it is to begin
We must accept who we are
And hope that others will follow
Friends will accept us as we are
The rest have souls so hollow
The words are sad yet typical
For millions and millions untold
We all hope to be better
As we battle our inner coild
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a fight within our self takes its toll, and bleeds more to..great write have yet to read one you have wrote that was nothing less than great..
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Well, you certainly never disappoint =) great poem; one obviously written after an introspection. I admire your strength in both life and your writing skills.
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Oh I know....
and you did an excellent job with this brief but well written piece. Hence is the mark of a true poet... Skill can be displayed no matter the length of the piece...
"this passion
so fast
so gone"
My favorite line... I can't say enough about it because in this life it seems that is how it is...so fast then so gone.....
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definitely a relatable poem. something i would look at is the rhythm of the stanzas. also, in line 13, do you mean 'no one knows'?
good poem and keep writing! -
Very Good
Had a bad time with the back ground. A good poem of self preservation, not wanting the world to know your true plight in life.
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I like it. I feel like I can relate to it.
do you mean "no one knows" on line 13? I don't really get the third stanza's meaning...but maybe it's just me. well done
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