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Liquid Sunshine

I heard the tiny tangs of droplets and looked out the window.
In the pool of water I could see the tell tale signs of easy falling rain.
I opened the front door and went out side with both eyes closed.
I opened them when I could feel the drops and thought I had gone insane.

There the sun shone with no cloud in sight.
Yet still came the water falling steady and strong.
I realized suddenly that this must be liquid light.
A miracle that is made from drops straight from the sun.

Author notes

I don't know if this is actually done yet. Let me know what you think

Is it complete??

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Comments


  • eccentrikchild
    November 1

    Edit | Reply
    Lovely poem. It gives you a very peaceful, mental image.

    "I heard the tiny tangs of droplets and looked out the window.
    In the pool of water I could see the tell tale signs of easy falling rain."

    My two favourite lines!

    • guardian warrior
      November 1
      Edit | Reply
      Those two lines are my favorite as well. Thank you for you comments. I wish more of my stuff was as light and fun as this one.

      Guardian Warrior.


  • Beverlynohime
    October 13

    Edit | Reply
    Sunshowers are awesome. I like this but I feel like you could give more depth to this more detail, more imagery. Check spelling too.

  • This is really good and very interesting. I enjoyed reading this. I would have too say that this is my favorite part:

    I heard the tiny tangs of droplets and looked out the window.
    In the pool of water I could see the tell tale signs of easy falling rain.
    I opened the front door and went out side with both eyes closed.
    I opened them when I could feel the drops and thought I had gone insane.


    But overall this is great.