I watched as he cupped
hope blew on it
like the dandelions
in wide open fields
that lay against dormant logs -
softness resonated
in the curve
of his forearm and the way
his chin turned up
towards the sun,
warmth filled cold veins
In a list
A contest entry
- okay okay. by chloris.
400 points, ended September 25, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Ah...this is nice. The softness of this piece primarily the latter part is like a breath of freshness. A rustle of wind at night when you are sad and lonely, the effect of that is something I felt in the end.
One thing though, the second line after reading it several times seems to miss something as if it is broken. A conjunction seems to be needed. How about: hope,and blew on it
I am not sure but maybe it is just me. Just my thought
Thanks for sharing another good piece.
HENSLEY
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beautiful
Your verse has such a quality that makes me read over and over and the flow is mesmerizing.
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It's been a long time since I have read anything from you, and still, as always, am impressed. You have a voice for honesty and your imagery is impressive.
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You are always so beautifully succinct, yet there remain so many layers for us, your readers, to wade through to find our own shores, Melissa. Congratulations on a well-earned gold, my Friend. 
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Amazing words in a not so surprising golden poem! This poem is too much for my limited vocabulary.
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I read this last night just after I posted mine. I'm not surprised to see the gold trophy. It was one of those I read and just left to linger. Beautiful M.
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i loved the extended metaphor... a lot. hmph. thanks for entering.. really.
killer end line. -
Quiet and penetrating....I enjoyed the confident self exposition of this piece. Very lovely.
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