One step closer- two steps sideways

Your scent peaks around corners,
and I subconciesly rub my arms for warmth.
running from you was never hard,
it was staying away that kept me,
sitting in dark rooms, crying
to muzik not heard in years.

You gave me so much but took away
the only thing I hald onto for dear life;
smiles,
words to save someones day,
my own blue skies.

My brain shuts down and I have trouble finding reboot
so im stuck on standby with no hope,
in winter cold red boots,
of finding myself on the street.

-In the bright blue eyed girl in the pictures,
so sure of herself,
and the stance of a queen,
practiced in front of mirrors staind
with mascara from nights of looking to deep,
falling through cracks of oneself.

She tells me of history not ready to repeat itself,
and 'I love you's' burn my ears,
and make my eyes twinkle with doubt,
I can pretend life
but I cant bring myself to believe
anything ive put to paper.

Little one is growing so big,
so mature,
yet she is still babygirl with naive brown eyes.
and a heart that gets smashed to pieces,
every time she kisses that frame'
filled with empty promises and
"I havent seen your face
in my entire life."
but damn she must love you.
like I love her.
I think anyway.

I think to much yet not enough to unlock doors,
with keys found on rings of old,
of generationsIi had not known.
At least you tried to help.