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monsters (whole lot of me)

the more you think you know
well, you probably know less
you can't control it this time
you unforgettable mess

you are the sun that turned black
when the world needed the day
but don't even try again
you'll never find your way


oh i won't look for the monsters in my closet
the door stays open tonight- yeah I won't close it

so don't sit there and judge me just by what you see
there's a whole lot more - there's a whole lot of me


I don't know why you missed it
or why I even cared
but you closed the door and shut me out
it's almost like you're scared

So now I think I've waited here
for way far too long
I just give up, this time I quit
I never did belong



oh i won't look for the monsters in my closet
the door stays open tonight- yeah I won't close it

so don't sit there and judge me just by what you see
there's a whole lot more - there's a whole lot of me

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments


  • Fallen-Thumper
    September 26

    Edit | Reply

    thank you for entering

    this piece says a lot and i really liked it.
    thanks for entering and good luck.
    i liked the repeating of the coupled lines.
    -Penguin-


  • NeptunesMight
    September 26

    Edit | Reply
    not bad ...you should colab it .. this is something i could get into... specialy in the pissed off mood im in now... damn bartenders... whos got a knife?


    • Veronica Leigh
      September 26
      Edit | Reply
      well you can definitely add more too it or take away, whatever you want. I'm definitely open to collabing with it


  • kirbysman Moderators member
    September 24

    Edit | Reply
    There's a lot said in this, and some I wish didn't have to be said of course. But, you've put it right out there and said it pretty clearly for sure. Should be a good song too so waiting to hear the music. And, I think you're right, "there's a whole lot more - there's a whole lot of me." That's very much true, as I'm finding out. Just keep it going. And, you have a knack for saying it well in things like this. Good job as usual.

    Hugs
    GP Paul