Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Death Breath

whirling, swirling
into space
further down
thoughts erase
blackness invades,
your soul
incased
thumping, jumping
deaths embrace

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

  • Humm..once again..I can see that how the load of the circustances which are not happy in situations are forcing the words to cry through and throug...a strong delievery of the soul.....thanks for sharing it...


  • AmazinJason
    November 5, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    nice rhyming


  • xMendingXHeartx
    October 29, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    love this poem short but much impact!!


  • Manda Kathryn Greeters member
    September 26, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    Thank You for Your Entry ~

    the dark green font makes this a little difficult to read against the black

    I love how much impact this holds in it's few lines and words; it read to me like someone was gasping the words out in frustration - excellent

    best of luck

    Stay safe
    ~Manda