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I am Here

I am here,
not there.
Memories hard to share.

I am here,
not there.
I still have the thousand yard stare.

I am here,
not there.
Emotionally numb, just don't care.

I am here,
not there,
Can't describe, no words to spare.

I am here,
not there.
My emotions I can't bear.

I am here.
not there.
I am under VA Health Care.

I am here,
not there.
Good meds beyond compare.

To keep me here,
here, not there.

A contest entry

Inspired byt he song "Oh No" by the Commodeores

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Karra-Mayy
    October 19, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    i thought it was about time i commented on a few of yours!!!!

    but yeah,

    i like this

    the repeat of im here not there works well for this

    great writee xx


  • Wandering Woodchuck gold member
    October 4, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Your words touched me. It brought to mind the favorite lines from a song about the war..... All gave some, some gave all. Thank you for what you gave. Although has been a long haul, your service helped us win the Cold War. The world is a better place today because of it.

    Mike


  • PassionsPromise gold member
    October 1, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    wonderfully penned
    thank you for the entry

    Good luck

    Passions


  • Rheea gold member
    September 29, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Ah sweetheart watch those black box drugs, they go way beyond the legal dose on Vietnam vets they always have and always will. It is something they can not do in the "real world"


  • Sandygram silver member
    September 29, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    So Very Heartfelt

    A poem that touches the heart. Having a childhood friend die in Vietnam I can feel the pain and emotion written within your words. I give thanks to all those who have served and those who still bravely serve and their families. Where would we be without all their sacrifice. You say it so well. I am sure many men and women feel as you do. Bless you always. Hugs for you.

    Peace and grace, Sandy


  • MelissaluvzSheila silver member
    September 26, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    This was really good and very moving. It was sad, But good. It was really hard to pick my favorite part but hey I did it:

    I am here,
    not there.
    Good meds beyond compare.

    But it was hard too pick that part out due too all of it was good!


  • cup-a-joe silver member
    September 25, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    I am here,
    not there.
    I still have the thousand yard stare. Amen brother, Amen
    Joe

1 - 7 of 7