'Pa-Pa-Pa Poker Her Face
(I Make Her Say)'
i was jamming to music,
filling my mind with
impure thoughts;
as the bat bus
passed by me
to reach
its new comers.
and as it vroomed pass me,
a lady with two young girls
began to run along side it,
hoping it would
stop for them
by the time
it reached its
destination.
but the youngest girl
couldn't keep up
with her mother.
and as her mother
kept yelling ' hurry !'
she began to cry...
tipping, but running
as fast as she could.
i dropped my books,
everything i had
and ran up to her side
grabbing the bags
from her struggling hands,
running as fast as i could
with her in my arms.
and
the whole time
in my head,
as i was running
i thought,
' who gives a child the cans
and runs with the bread ? '
trying to stay focused
i began to pick up my speed
running faster
and faster
but apparently
it wasn't fast enough.
as we reached the bus
the man just drove off,
as if he had no heart.
and
i don't know why
but this
just hurt me
so fuckin much.
In a list
honest thoughts. thank you
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Wow. This is woooow. I think one of my faves from you, deff. It made me want to cry, honestly. People can be so cold. And the mother - what the hell was she thinking. This is a superb piece, well done.
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thanks. this one really was from the heart.
it made me so sad when i saw it.
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i like it, it shows how messed up the world and the people who live there are today
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I like this piece, it is very real, i like the line :
' who gives a child the cans
and runs with the bread ? '
very thought provoking, and written so it is easy to get lost in the story!!!!
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Brilliant
I happened upon this write and quite frankly wonder why I havent seen your work before. This is real. Real. I felt it, I have lived it. It is so relatable.
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Rough! Read intensely. I felt every moment and hoped for positive ending, but like all good stories, the world is as fucked as it was before. You gave this story a brilliant voice.
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I like your story (experience, actually I assume). If this is a story then it gives the impression that this is something you've actually experienced.
I've seen this same kind of thing before (' who gives a child the cans
and runs with the bread ? ' ) and never understood it. I see parents at the store with their kids, making them carry food they can barely hold so that they can talk on their cell phones. What could be that important?
I think of it as prose but then the lines sometimes seem more formatted to poetry, but I don't really think there's a definite line between the format or prose vs poetry so I would say it's clear and reads fine.
I like at the end how you note the way that it effected you.
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I really like the first stanza I can see you there waiting on the bus and bopping along in your head.. The imagery throught is very effective I had no problem seeing the scene and relating to your frustration, nice write!
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