Shit Luck

I knew I shouldn't have eaten that burrito late last night
'Cause it gave me so much gas, a warhead I could ignite
Nature didn't just come calling, it was screaming in my ass
I had to find a dunny before the nastiness would pass.

I found a port-a-potty just in time right on the street
And felt I was in heaven as all that crap I did excrete
I felt a lot of rocking which at first I thought was weird
But my bog was rather violent and my bowels were not quite clear.

Little did I realize that I was more than shit out of luck
'Cause while I dropped the poop the loo was placed onto a truck
To make it worse the crazy driver couldn't read warning signs
And hit a bridge which caused a mess too disgusting to define.

Before I I had time to wipe myself I was thrown off the seat
Landing butt-first in the car behind on a blonde that looked so sweet
Her red sports car was covered in a stench that would kill skunks
And the impact finally dislodged from me those final stubborn chunks.

From this disaster romance was spawned, the blonde did fall in love
The perfect man she didn't doubt was sent from the Man above
"A diamond in the rough" she said "my Adonis fell from the sky"
"I was always told the best love comes deep in the brown eye."