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Without words.

i.

It might be your shoulders or your ribs. It might be your hands or your eyes. It might be how when I go to touch your cheek and you don't shy away at all. It might be how your 'hellos' reverberate against my chest or how you can be so much and mean so little at the same time.

I'm sure it could be a lot of things
and I don't want to say 'It's not you, it's me', because-

it's most likely me.

ii.

Is it because your eyes are the color of the sky before a storm is about to hit or is it because your body is the calm? I think it's because I'm not enough to make you remember, but just enough for you to forget.

iii.

I'm forgetting so many things lately. Things like how your name rolls so well off my tongue when I'm lost in your eyes or when I want to give you the key to my heart, but I just can't remember exactly what it was.

Sometimes my memory gets so bad I can't remember why I said yes and why I let you touch my throat with your lips. Sometimes I can't even remember why you're here.

iv.

It's because I can't forget the nights I spent between his folded arms. The nights we had agreed the word love can only be express with actions, because words lie. It was the night he said, "I love you" without words that I just can't forget.

It's because he meant it.

v.

I've held off writing these thoughts because I know once I did, it would be something real, something touchable and hard beneath my fingertips. It would make it true and I would start over-thinking.




It's because I want to love you, but I don't know if I can.

Author notes

I wrote this last night before bed.
You should see my paper. haha.

So many notes off to the sides, scribbles and such things. Lovely, lovely.

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Comments


  • AlexandraHamilton
    September 24

    Edit | Reply
    This is really beautiful. My favorite part is the last part, but only because of things that went before. I love beautiful endings, in other words, and this has it.

    (As far as scribbled pages of writing, readable only to the eyes of the one who wrote it, that's usually how my handwritten poetry ends up )


    • e m i l y
      September 24
      Edit | Reply
      Well, I like to think poems need to end with the best line you can think of. Anyway, thank you so much.


  • Rejected Easter Egg
    September 24

    Edit | Reply
    omg!!!!!! This was exactly what I needed to read. i almost yolked my pants. It was perfect in every way. *sigh* I'm reading more of your work, I need to!