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a different kind of free...

You know, I always imagined freedom as
horses running wild through the wilderness,
or bald eagles soaring over snow-capped cliffs,
spreading their wings as wide as possible to
fully enjoy the feeling of true freedom.

Not this; not smiling when you manage to rise
from the bed after fifteen minutes of slow
action manouvering, shuffling and winces of
pain. Not cheering internally as you sip through a
carton of Ribena; finishing it after only
two and a half hours of slow tasting, breaking
another record for yourself. Not resisting the
urge to leap in the air and high-five a nurse
enthusiastically when your bowels release
and free you from the cramps that have been
grabbing with greedy, hurtful fingers at your
innards, and delving you to the depths of the
word 'pain'.

I never imagine freedom could be so simple -
and taste so much like healing.

Author notes

i'm sure you all know what this is about by now...

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • MJ Forgives
    November 3
    Edit | Reply
    Wow reallly cool and such an interesting poem. I hope you do well in my contest and thanks for entering. Love and Peace!
    -Jess


  • Thewordflow
    October 9

    Edit | Reply
    I love this one A really good write here, good luck with your future writes

    Good luck and thankyou for entering

    (sorry about the short comment but ive got 105 of these to do :L)


  • Raining Kisses silver member
    September 26
    Edit | Reply
    omg this is sooooooo damn rawguttedly excellent
    a truly magnificent piece...be proud of this
    I wish you well
    T


  • condor gold member
    September 26

    Edit | Reply
    Yes, this is one of my most haunting experiences and I must say, that you have described it very very well indeed. Of course, I wouldn't have leapt in the air to high five a nurse, but very close to it. I must congrats on the silver trophy but I am a little confused as to why noone has commented on this wonderful piece of work. It is really great stuff and is filled with all the feelings one would actually feel if it were happening to them. You are brilliant and if i could give you more than three claps, I would.