Let us abandon reality together
Disappear into the nothingness of who we were
Feeling the molecules of our exhaled breath shatter
Against the sharpness of tattered skin
Let us unzip our bodies
Make our inner souls unite or ignite
Into an unborn child or a collapsed star
As we are drawn into the black holes of our past
Let us step out of reality together
Into the atmosphere of our hearts
Trapped within our adolescence
We shall drown our humanly flaws
Will the sun dawn while we are gone?
Or will we be part of the sky?
Lit every star
And masquerade the moon
Will they miss us
Still mistrust us
Will they care
Now that we have disappeared
Will we care
Now that we are the cosmos?
Author notes
I wrote this poem when we were on vacation in a beach house. At mignight we would go to the beach to watch the sky and it became all so clear how insignificant we are.
I wrote this poem during this time at the beach. I am not sure if I am content with it. Suggestions and critique welcome
Comments and Critiques welcome
Comments
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I thought that this poem was very well handled. life questions are always difficult (if not impossible) to put into words or to express as fully as possible - but the metaphors and other imagery come very close to accomplishing this. I particularly enjoyed the idea of unzipping bodies - as though how we are percieved is mere performance and fashion, different fabrics stitched together that we dress ourselves up in to keep warm and hide our true selves. If there is anything that is left to be done with this poem, I think it is a general tidying up of the ending - this is because the repetition doesn't cohere very well with the main body of the text. Other than that, it was a fantastic write
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