http://www.seanbatchelor.com/blog/category/flat-white-canvas/
To be something
well defined,
or somebody with a name
to be remembered,
a name that surfaces on people mind
classified within their top ten early morning thoughts.
To meet with
a blue sky in contrast,
like magpies
in black and white certainty.
To have a distinct shape
of apple or pear not a hybrid
modified by years of slow adaptation.
To be a doodle
on Obama’s napkin
go a long way
be analysed thoroughly
kept for a “may be one day big money”
be given an opportunity to shine eventually
in "blues" and beige tonality.
Not an ordinary morning coffee doodle
disposed of by who ever happened to be in charge
of the "clearing table before lunch".
Would I be happier?
Spontaneity is the privilege
of the most unknown.
.
To be something
well defined,
or somebody with a name
to be remembered,
a name that surfaces on people mind
classified within their top ten early morning thoughts.
To meet with
a blue sky in contrast,
like magpies
in black and white certainty.
To have a distinct shape
of apple or pear not a hybrid
modified by years of slow adaptation.
To be a doodle
on Obama’s napkin
go a long way
be analysed thoroughly
kept for a “may be one day big money”
be given an opportunity to shine eventually
in "blues" and beige tonality.
Not an ordinary morning coffee doodle
disposed of by who ever happened to be in charge
of the "clearing table before lunch".
Would I be happier?
Spontaneity is the privilege
of the most unknown.
.
Author notes
Wrote spontaneously in 10 mns like an ordinary coffee morning napkin doodle.
I have just made a couple of editing after this.
A contest entry
- Flat White by ea.
400 points, ended September 27, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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This is a phenomenal write ! I would
have thought many hours went into
this piece !! Love it ! A pleasure to
read on this night ! Take care ,
Best wishes & hugs , friend Easy

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Thank you so much for passing by this is so kind of you.
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Well deserved gold trophy for if this is merely a doodle, what would your truest and finest piece of peotry be?


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I would welcome your visit to read my various doodles and gribbles even if I am writing only a little at the moment having caught up an addiction for creating background
Thank you ever so much for your kind comment.
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Congrats on the gold! Well deserved, an amazing piece.


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Thank you so much.
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I would suggest eliminating the "If only I was" that begins the first three stanzas and just launch right in with the images of
"something well defined...", "a blue sky...", "a doodle on Obama's napkin...". I like how you end on this strong thought on spontaneity.

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I have done some editing not really sure how this is turning out...?
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Your morning coffee napkin doodle is awesome. I've tried free writes and never shared. If I could do it like this, I'd share plenty. Great writing.


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Wonderful
Another amazing and so very well done. Best of luck in the contest

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We all struggle
Nicely done. A good summary of our human frailities

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