Shadows, between all the wrinkles --
I turn and watch the sunlight fall
‘cross rooftops and palisades, crayon
work on a blue sky paper dream.
Grey maned Appaloosas gallop --
foam tossed sandy kaleidoscopes
cloak their plunging rush against
a morning sky still tender with rain.
Can’t see. Everything is coming to me
through fingertips and prayers
in a language of promises and maybes.
The sunshine and the dust mated
a Brownian waltz with a modern arc
where the music flows from the heart,
you and me we watch and forget to breathe.
All the colors stream in a cartoon dream
we are fools in disbelief as trees
morph into cities then seas. It touches
us with a sudden lust to spread our wings.
We fly free. Everything comes to us
as we ply the air, soar here and there
in a language of forever ‘n’ still to be’s.
11:46 PM
09-23-09
Alexandria, VA
In a list
A contest entry
- I Wept With The Tree~Iron Wine of Flightless Bird by Blue Rew.
1450 points, ended October 6, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites contest!!!!!!!!!!!! enter!!!!! by foreveryourslove.
1120 points, ended November 9, 1070 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Please tell me what you think, what it makes you feel, how you are moved.
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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i enjoyed this write very much thank you for entering and i wish you the bestest of luck in my contest tooo i just love this write!!!!! it makes me smile inside
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You're Welcome
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The grays bear plumes here and I am awash in rainbows as
I read. They gallop steadily, those favored memories and
their flood dams the harsh waters of present reality.
Dreamy and quite moving, I became flushed with the want
to stand in such a moment. Blue
PS~Absolutely adored "Brownian waltz"
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Thanks for the silver
This is one of those poems that demand to be written, I was blessed to be ready for it when it came. I had tried for years to catch the scene with the horses.
Love,
Tom B.
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this reads like a dream...i imagine myself older and golden and watching the colors of my life roll before my eyes...especially LOVE the line about appaloosas. there does not appear to be a single solitary word where it ought not be...as usual.
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Too many drugs in my youth.
Vision and magic are wonderful when you can let them roll out of you without and editor, mindfulness.
Love,
Tom B.
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"The sunshine and the dust mated
Your language is like a colorful flying carpet, and I ride away on beautiful words. Gorgeous piece.
a Brownian waltz with a modern arc
where the music flows from the heart,
you and me we watch and forget to breathe."
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Thanks for the compliment
There is meaning here, but it is swallowed and digested by the presentation. When we are happy, we often forget to remember how to return.
Love,
Tom B.
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Amazing! There is an imposible poem to critise. I love the imagery and descriptions in the first stanza and the sensations and experiences I felt during the latter lines. This poem takes you with it and its impossible to resist the call of the imagination when the scenes start changing.
Amazing write. Thank you for sharing. I really liked it. -
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Thanks for the compliment
Everything can be criticized but not all critiques hold water. Glad to hear it touched you.
Peace,
Tom B.
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hey! i read the poem, and i loved it, but i'm not much in a place to be critiquing; i just wanted to at least leave a warm and fuzzy note so your points weren't merely wasted on me. keep up the amazing work, and don't forget to smile :
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Your joy is a blessing
I simply wanted to create a powerful beautiful poem.
Thanks,
Tom B.
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Wonderful and beautiful imagery; I want to fly now!
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Don't let me stop you.
Joy is the greatest empowerment of them all.
Peace, Tom B.
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Wonderously beautiful
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Thanks
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Excellent
A truly beautiful poem, powerful and realestic words to pain a picture of fantasy.
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Thank you
It is always a challenge to write something beautiful that lights the spirit.
Peace,
Tom B.
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I read this at least four times, not because i didn't understand it.
Just the opposite,
i felt free... like a child capturing their first cloud picture.
There is something very magical, oh so whimsical when you sing this song my friend.
I want to twirl around and around.
Such light here,
love
~LisaP~
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This is a lyrical visionary dance of the spirit. I guess.
I feel fortunate that this poem contains enough magic it sets the reader free to remember childhood dreams.
Love,
Tom B.
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The human spirit does soar, no matter how confined the body becomes. It seems independent even of consciousness at times. I'm amazed at what you see on the horizons of your life. I have been dreaming of late, and it occurred to me that dreams are worth nothing if there is no fruition from them, and then I realized that dreams are the hopes of soul, the catalysts to reach beyond the dark into the light. I wonder if we would even touch each other without them. They prevent us from becoming blind...
I adore the imagery and movement you share here. It's art and music and synchonized color. I like the feel of power and freedom to go beyond ourselves without fear.
Beautiful poetry, Tomis. Beautiful.
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First, I studied the sensual and the sensations it created. Now, I find myself returning to the lyrical and the music it holds in every word. I have no idea where any of it leads. I, only, know it pleases my soul.
Love,
Tom B.
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Very fine...
your second and third stanzas really sing here and make the write a very enjoyable read. You have a lovely write here poet.
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This is one of my more lyrical attempts at sharing my own mad view of the world that often comes alive for me.
Peace,
Tom B.
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This is truly beautiful. I would love to be able to run with the horses, fly with the eagles, and breath the air from sea to sea. Watch the sun in all its wonder rise and set each day. The way nature is meant to be seen, felt, and lived. Your words have taken me upon such a trip.
Many Blessings sent to you for your wisdom with your magical paint brush.
Riftkin
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It is all a song. And the tune, well ... I knew it a moment ago. So flows the world. Glad you enjoyed my ecstatic dance in a moment of awakening.
Love, Tom B.
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This read painted me a beautiful natural pic....of earth, life
of wonderment and the magnificence, a blend of colors taken
sometimes for granted. If only we could see thru your eyes
just like we read your words....it would be amazing. I like
the group Iron Wine okay.......you have created an very vivid poem
novy
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I enjoyed the prompt. I am perhaps a bit more positive in my vision and voice it as going for something, not away from something. There is a film I saw once, back in high school, by a film student at NYCC. It was called "Dream of Wild Horses." It was set to electronic music. He or she filmed the wild horses at Asoteuge (SP?) Island running through the surf. I have images of that as a permanent "dream saver" in my unconscious mind. The rest is really my crazy morphic vision of a world that flows and dances to a magical music whenever I hum a little tune.
Love,
Tom B.
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