the valley of the shadow of death

what's your name?
je m'appelle brandy

how old are you?
i am currently sixteen, but my birthday is soon.
december second!

where do you rest your head?
i rest my head on a lavender pillow, located in a shitty town
in a shitty state that i can't wait to get out of.

do you believe in ghosts?
i believe in spirits.
but i'm not too sure about the haunting type of ghosts.
i think to truly believe in them you would've had to had a ghostly experience.
i have not.

do you think death penalty is worse than a life in jail?
i think the death penalty is better for america. get rid of the criminals, don't waste tax money paying for their crimes.

do you ever hurt people on purpose?
i'm a very bad person. i hurt people all the time. but it's not on purpose, it's merely because i disregard other peoples feelings a lot. i'm very self-centered.

do you lie to yourself?
no, i'm brutally honest with myself. i know when i'm wrong.

what's your biggest fear?
the future. not being all the things i want to be. not traveling to paris. getting stuck in this fucking town with a job i hate.

how would you describe a poet?
someone who doesn't give a fuck. someone who can burn all their poetry because they know how much it doesn't matter. how insignificant they are compared to everything. how there are feelings that they can't describe, there are colors they've never seen, that they could die without knowing what it feels like jump off the top of a building or drown in the ocean. and they know all of these things. and they still write, because they're the kind of people who want to hurt. who want the sadness and the pain and the disappointment. the people that scream at the top of there lungs and dance with their clothes off. the ones who smoke in the alleys and get drunk by fireplaces. the ones that live for blood and love and the ones that know we're broken. all of us.

that's a real fucking poet. 

would you call yourself a poet?
no. i'm just a girl who's too scared to live and only thinks poetry after nine. 

do you have any siblings?
i have two brothers.

what's your family life like?
it's tell you but i hate people who complain about their lives to strangers.
so i'll say i have a house, i have clothes, and i'm alive. &if that isn't good then what the fuck is?

who're your favorite five poets on the site and why?
grant (aesthete) because i love him. because we talk about philosophy and death and god and poetry. because he's dodgy thomas and i'm the wild rose.

najji because she creates some of the best metaphors and because she writes about cashiers and cell division. because she's going to be great.

divebar because of charlie's conversations.

formless because i like every single poem he writes

i'm bad at allpoetry, so that's the extent of it i believe.



do you believe in heaven?
i believe in enlightenment. because maybe there's a heaven in the clouds or maybe there's not. maybe it's all inside of ourselves. i don't view religion in the traditional sense, everything is a puzzle and  everythings a riddle and the earth wasn't made in seven days.

do you think animals could be taught to comprehend anything humans do?
i think animals are brilliant. we just perceive them as stupid worthless creatures because of the horrible things humans do to them. let's now think of out justification for slavery...
i'm not saying that an animals life is equal to a humans but we can survive just fine without killing them for food. i have strong opinions on this matter.

what do you think love is?
love is fire when you touch and dreaming about their eyes. it's listening to heartbeats and thinking of them when your pushing your skinny hands inside yourself. it's passion that burns and hurts and it's too big inside of you. it's when you feel your soul expand and think
"i could die in this moment"

it's not wanting anything more.

do you drink?
i smoke, i drink, i do drugs.

what's one thing that makes you happy?
emotions, reasons, thunderstorms, quotes, kittens, and good food.

is there anything that means more to you than poetry?
there's a good amount of things more important.

what's your favorite poem on this site?
(links appreciated.)
http://allpoetry.com/poem/4827527

where do you want to live in the future?
new york city. but more realistically asheville,
a nice city in the mountains that's stuck in the sixties.
sounds perfect.

how would you describe yourself?
i'm a liar. i'd rather be alone and i have no interest in what other people think.

what're your favorite three songs at the moment?
leopard-skin pill-box hat -bob dylan
a tale for the ages- hot cross
chinese freeze tag- i would set myself on fire for you

do you have a best friend?
i have a best friend who lives three states north of me.
i miss her to death

would you say you're more reckless and impulsive or logical and organized?
i'm so bipolar. sometimes i'll be so logical and the next i'll be impulsive. it's a hard thing to juggle between.

tell me something about yourself i don't already know.
i absolutely despise capitol letters

tell me something about myself i don't already know.
poets are significantly more likely to have mental illness then any other group  (dubbed the "sylvia plath effect")

what movies make you cry?
mulholland drive
american history x

how about songs?
hallelujah by jeff buckley
oh, my heart melts

why do you lie?
because i can.  because i'm scared. because i like to go into coffee shops and tell them my name is aurora.

do you believe in god?
i do believe in god. but i don't believe a supernatural being can change anything on earth, he's not going to help you win the lottery and he's not going to get you a new car. stop asking god for things and start praying for enlightenment. feel the earth move underneath your feel and breath shallow breaths. let him take over your heartbeat, let him pour it into you.

do you believe in aliens?
i think it's preposterous to think there isn't aliens. the likelihood is so great. look at this vast, expanding, infinite universe. you've got to be pretty ignorant to think we're that divine.

did you think poetically as a child at all?
no. my poetry has been learned.

if you were on the streets and passed yourself, what would your outward opinion be?
i probably wouldn't even notice myself, not because i'm too terribly plain but just because if i was walking down the streets my thoughts would be elsewhere. but if i was smoking a cigarette, i'd notice me. i always notice the smokers.

any bad habits?
smoking, lying, sleeping too frequently. oh, and i'm horrible at keeping contact.

what's something people always think about you based on first impressions that surprises you?
people tend to think i'm bitchy and weird. but it doesn't surprise me.

would you rather be in a relationship with a poet or someone who doesn't know you write?
a poet most definitely. so i can enjoy our conversations.

who's someone you wouldn't let read your writing?
parents.
but really no one reads my writing. except for you all and my best friend...
not purposefully. it's just that i have no poet friends. there all wrapped up in television and the opposite sex. i hate teenagers.

why or why not?
^

are you addicted to anything?
i don't believe in addiction.
if you want to stop, you will.

why do you write? honestly.
because i love to, because it makes me feel empty and i love that feeling.

what's a fairly common food item you won't eat?
meat.

favorite tv show?
lost. but my tv is permanently on CNN
sometimes the history channel...

would you say you're more passionate or indifferent?
this question goes along with my bipolar tendencies. sometimes i'm full of passion, sometimes i don''t believe in love.

what do you want to do with the next five years of your life?
college. college. college. write.

what's your most recent regret?
i don't have regrets. everything happens for a reason.

do you think everyone should be happy?
no. without pain there's no pleasure. without sadness i wouldn't appreciate my life. with out those children in africa i'd take for granted all the things i have. without all the unhappiness that goes on in this world, i'd be ignorant.

do you think some people aren't made to be?
some people are broken.

what's your favorite animal?
lions. oh, how i love lions.

would you ever make a drastic physical apperance change?
hair wise probably. but thats all.

are you self concious about your apperance?
not in the least bit.

what are you most confident in?
my speech.

how about least?
hah. is it bad that i can't think of anything?

have you ever been in love?
i'd say so

what do you think about celebrities?
fuck pop culture
we're the counterculture
we smoke cigarettes and wear black eyeliner. we get tattoos and drink vodka
we're just as much a cliche as anyone else. but at least we feel special while doing it.

give me five random facts.

i. im obsessed with the sixties and edie sedgwick
ii. i love politics
iii. i am a cat person
iv. the universe is either expanding infinitely or will eventually stop expanding and collapse in on itself.
v. i've recently become obsessed with suicide statistics, though i do not believe myself to be suicidal.