to tie me over...

She knew all the answers.
What was wrong with her,
all those little things,
yet she never put into
words, perspective, truth.
the only thing wrong with her,
was that she didn't know
what was wrong with her.

You never caught the heat
from my panic attacks.
you just looked like a deer,
caught in headlights,
a boy; center stage.
Like you had everything to
gain,
but not one morsel to hand away.

This is me and not
your slanted view of yourself,
of me, of us.
Its always consistin of something.

Id rather have the sun burns my eyes -no sunglasses,
then i cant see the light - sunglasses.
There is no black ans white,
no magpie honest truth,
my beliefs scatter
themselves between religions.

one day ill write genious all
over the memories of you.
one day I will understand
what your lips profusedly
spat at me over
and over and over again.
I will not want to sew you back inside
and forget.
I will learn to step on the stones
you threw and get over it.

I  spent minutes upon minutes
trying to put the green and blue
specks back into my eyes.
but the more I picked up the less I saw.
I wish I could pluck this moment from time
and stick it in my pocket.
green, orange brown,
such a contrast of beauty,
but you wouldnt understand,
all you see is time running away.