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Il Mondo

Tiefe wasser sind nicht still....

Two boxers fighting in a ring,
the referee is folded-blind.
The rules ignored: fight to the finish,
cheered by spectators,
the murderer is rewarded with money and a title.

Watch the father come out to play,
give all talk but never play!
Weiter! weiter! ins verderben!
Wir müssen leben bis wir sterben!
Words will be words until they are translated into actions,
in the end, even for god, this is no exception.

A pretty little girl stands with 2 boys enamored.
A race for rose is run, a race to climb down a cliff,
A steep descent.
Down the middle, a boy is killed,
the oh so rose red is picked.
As the winner comes up and the girl takes the rose,
pretends to lean into him then pushes him.
She takes the dead boy in her arms,
to her home in a silent wedlock.

Betrayal by someone close to you,
Too late they realize what they felt for you,
Punishment to themselves by their very hand,
they exact....

Weiter! weiter! ins verderben!
Wir müssen leben bis wir sterben!

Labyrinth in time, a forking in reality.
Our senses depend on what we perceive.
Darkness covers our light,
reality turns to fantasy,
by sheep headed minds imprisonment through illusion becomes reality,
yet through the window we believe we know that this is meant to be!

Men turned zombies!
Machines rule men!

Surrendered our free will to our own tricks and traps!
The sun goes down, and we all lie still,
in the next consecutive morn we never will.........

Wake.

Author notes

Tip: In a ways, this piece is also a tribute to Rammstein.

A contest entry

Analyze this poem ciritcally: What'd you get out of it?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Chanes Forever
    1 day ago
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    Edit | Reply
    First of all, I really like Rammstein. I wish I knew more of their songs (I know four: "Mein Teil", "Mutter", "Amerika" [probably my favorite until I finally hear more, and "Rammstein" XD] though, as I don't know many.

    I LOVE your "voice". The words you use, how you use them, your sentence and phrase structures, etc... This poem is awesome.

    Third-to-last stanza (not counting "Wake.", though it's got enough power to be), beginning with "Labyrinth in time, a forking in reality...." ... Is brilliant. I love the transformations (darkness to light, reality to fantasy, uillusions to reality...) - they always seem to work, don't they? Particularly in your case.

    Awesome. Really. Good luck to you, okay?


    • Frodobunny
      1 day ago
      ?
      Edit | Reply
      I think you'll like "Fruehling in Paris" "Dalai Lama". I used their songs Dalai Lama and Rosenrot for this poem. Ohne Dich is a great song, with Engel. So yeah.

  • you cheated, you only entered this because you know just how much i like it lol

    well done -makes a note to do it-

  • i dunno what rammstein is. but i like the poem. folded blind? stolen.

1 - 9 of 9