All is Darkness

Outside, all is darkness

there is only darkness, and the hush of inheld breath, the straining of ears and eyes
a shadow more substantial, a quiet humming with intent
perfect darkness and a thunderous silence screaming out a warning
there is only fear, and the tremble of clenched hands, the shivering of frightened flesh

there is pain, pain and fear and heat and hate, and a smell like pennies, like blood
and the smell is now blood, hot and wet and dripping, like that other
all is hot and wet, blood and sweat and tears and that other
the pain is hot and wet, the fear is silent and dark, all is darkness, I am darkness

there is nothing, nothing but sweat and tears and that other drying tacky on skin
shame thick and cooling in secret places, hatred throbbing inside, more secret still
there is agony in every movement, in body and soul and mind and heart, so all is still
all is still and dark and silent, I am still and dark and silent, I am nothing

there is only fear, fear of darkness and silence and pain and stillness
fear that the night will never end, fear that it will end too soon, fear of the light
the cruel, unforgiving light, the sun and noise and motion and life, all too bright
inside there is nothing but pain and hate and fear and  shame, and darkness most of all

Inside, all is darkness