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The diary of self doubt

I take a gentle step back & analyze my life

.. What a wonderful fucking life, seriously.

But I feel so torn up inside, it's not enough
I'm so pessimistic, Almost like it hurts me to actually believe that everything will work out.

I'm sobbing again, Stupid girl, Stupid me.
I'm scared .. Thoughts of suicide running irrationally through my head.
But no, this can't be. I'm better than this, or at least I should be.
I am so very greatful for all the incredible things I have in life, I am. But my attitude and my thoughts would tell you otherwise.

My idiotic mind is pulling me under, I'm so close to drowning.
A big whirlwind of emotions has taken over me & suddenly I can't see straight anymore .. Where am I & where am I supposed to go ?

This coldness is pressing in on me. I try to reach up for hope but I can't seem to grasp it.





Would life be any different without me ?

Author notes

This was meant as a poem, but I think it could also be a journal entry. Anyways, This isn't my best piece of work but it's still from the heart and kind of scary too actually. I guess my mind is filled with so much doubt that it's clouding over my 'sane' thoughts .. if that makes any sense.

A contest entry

I want your honest opinions on this !

    : , Your review:

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Darkmoon
    November 5
    Edit | Reply
    Oh yeah, thanks for the entry and good luck!

    ~Edna~


  • Darkmoon
    November 5

    Edit | Reply
    This was really good. It made me think of myself a few years back. And let me tell you this, life would be different wwithout you. And that things will get better. Yeah sometimes i find myself wanting to pull open a razor and remember the feeling of cutting but now i really have no reason too. I'm happy. So just hang in there, things will get better. If you need someone to talk too, i'm here.


  • smntha.
    September 23

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. This touched a special place in my heart. I love that it's almost like a journal entry and not exactly poemlike. It gives it more of a sense of you.
    I love it.
    Yes, life would be different.


  • My Last Breath.x
    September 23

    Edit | Reply
    First of all, I love you <3

    Second of all , I'm A L W A Y S here for you Kandace, no matter what. You're not alone, and never will be, no matter how many times you think that you are. I know life kinda sucks right now, but things will get better. And I'll be there in the end to tell you I told you so =P

    ♥

1 - 6 of 6