santa's little helper

Dear Santa,

When I was weeing in the barn, just the other day,
over the papers on the floor - they said it's best that way,
I saw an advert big and bold, featuring a little puppy,
saying  "Pets are not just for Christmas", but Santa,
he looked just like ME!

His ears weren't floppy like mine, but he wore a licky tongue,
and I could see that his rear was designed to be a
wriggly bum.
Oh Santa, how did this little chap come to be with you
Can I follow in his footsteps and be your helper too?

I've heard the other puppies talk about girls, sex and food,
But I'd most like to fly with you and help little kids feel good.
To soar amongst the stars inside the sack with all the toys
And help to throw them down the chimney,
for sleeping girls and boys.
To prance along the rooftop, with the reindeer too,
Wriggling with excitement just to be with you.
How do I reply to the ad that I weed on?
Oh, and sorry about that - the urge was just too strong.

Can I be your little helper on the year's most exciting night -
and then be put in my very own home
when darkness turns to light.

Yeah! When the night is over, and we're left on our own,
Could you, maybe, Santa, find me,
a really loving home?
One with toys and warmth and love, and kids who want to play,
One that will keep me with them long after Christmas Day.

Oh Santa, darling Santa, will you please come and fetch me.
'Cause I have a lot of love to give, to the right family

Yours, sincerely,
a puppy in the barn.