I've tried so hard to keep this up.
It's my junior year
And I'm starting to fall apart.
My grades were perfect,
My life was great.
My friends kept me happy
And my music kept me occupied.
My family's never really been fun,
But lately it's gotten worse.
I'm hardly ever sick
And I felt good about myself.
But this year has been a disaster.
I can think of so many things I've done
That I could've stopped
Or that I should've left alone.
Now I can't do this anymore...
I've kept a smile on my face.
Hiding my heartbreak and loneliness.
I can't do it anymore....
My life is unraveling before my eyes
Like a piece of thread on a shirt.
My friends seem to be deteriorating
And my family issues are getting worse....
My grades a falling down, down, down,
And my life is so complicated
My music is still here, and I listen to it increasingly......
I don't know what I'd do without it.
I still don't get sick,
But I cry so often now
That my head is killing me all the time.
My self-esteem is going down, down, down.
My big brother isn't here anymore,
He's gone to college
And he's having fun....
Wish I could get away like him.
My little sister never helps.
Though she doesn't threaten as much,
But her yelling is constant.
And her name calling is mean.
I can't stand her anymore,
But I just take each blow,
Like a punch in the gut.
I fight the tears trying to run.
She seems to think she's nicer,
And that she has more friends.
That stabs me in the heart,
As much as I hate to admit it.
She makes me feel worse about myself,
Thinking I'm not pretty.
Always saying nobody loves me,
And saying she hates me.
All for no reason.
My life is spiralling downward.
And I can't seem to stop it.
How did this happen?!?!
I was happy with life.
I was content with my friends.
But now......
Now I just feel like a nobody.
This stress is a huge burden,
Just resting on my tiny shoulders.
I don't know how much more I can take.
I'm going to break soon...
I just can't do this.......
Author notes
I'm having such a hard time right now... Lately I've felt like nobody loves me.... i've complained enough about my sister above already.... i'm usually a straight A student but i have five As, a C and three Bs right now... it's killing me... my friends that graduated are doing things they shouldn't, and I'm totally stressed out...... I need so much love right now.... I hate life at the moment..... hopefully not for long. But thank you to all my friends on here. I love you guys!
What do you think?
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Bandit Reading List
Dear Sister Koko,
We all go through times of hardship and confusion but we come throught them even more strong and focused than we were before. Please do not give up hope but patiently endure this present slump until conditions improve. You are a winner and survivor, this is a test of your mettle and you will succeed!
Thanks for sharing this poem of dispair and know you are in my thoughts and prayers, God Bless. 
Brother Dennis
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Life is going to throw you curve balls every once in awhile it's just the way you deal with it. Writing and talking about what's going on helps a lot. Just don't let the things people say about you get you down. Those who pick out your flaws are doing it because they are afraid of their own. Be strong and don't let it bother you. If you need someone to talk to im here. Keep your chin up.
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Bandits Reading List
Sometime life does make us feel like we "just can't do this...." anymore. When I feel like that I retreat into my writing. Somehow I am able to work through the pain and annoyance and then see just a glimmer of light. I clasp that glimmer like my very heart depended on my grasp. Then, somehow, as I hold onto the Light, my darkness just disappears.
Hang on there and keep writing. There is a way up out of this dark hole.
Blessings - joanne -
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Hey Im sorry and understand you may not know this but I am going through so much of what you are going through and I have been for so long if you need a shoulder Im here. you are loved by so many people and I want you to never ever forget that. I love and care about you so much and I hope you can come to me even if all you need is a hug.
your friend Thalia
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Dear poet, have heart!!
I am going through so much of what you're going through; and I know how painful and disillusioning it can be; and I know that it seems like nothing will get better. And I know just how bad an effect this depression can have on grades
Keep heart, hold your true friends close, and remember that you are loved.
My best,
Zach Estel. -
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PS: Listen to this, it should put things in perspective . . . and cheer you up
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPvZVdHDB4E
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Bandits reading list
Pessimism is the retreat of the unhappy count your blessings visit your local hospital as a voluntary visitor and you will realize how well off you are and read my poem "Little Barefoot Girl" its very inspiring.Best Wishes......George
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Hopefully soon, your life will get back on track. Junior year is tough for a lot of people, since a lot of people change so much, so quickly and with so little heads up. I'm here, if ever I'm needed. I know I'm not one of the people you hang out with at school often, but I'm still here. And Hailey, I love you. :-)
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Bandits Reading List
Ah dear poet! Sighs! I'm sorry on hearing about rough days you are having these days! And how honest you are in your words! But problems grow us strong if we look at them as a chance. Hope things gets better with you and your life.
Thankee for the share
~Massy~
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