Render my guilt obsolete tonight -
My words are desperately seeking your forgiveness
You surrender, I inhale redemption.
Author notes
This is haiku of about asking for forgiveness
A contest entry
- quick little quick quick quickie by Kathraina.
525 points, ended September 24, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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i like the piece as it is, but i have to agree that this piece's syllables go over the bounds of haiku. great thoughts here though, very enjoyable read!
bravo and thank you for entering
♥ Kate -
Well now, I have written and read many, many Haiku's and this is the first time I have seen one with an "excessive" amount of syllables. I do know that the Japanese language is formed differently and can give a whole thought/phrase in a couple of syllables. As a guess from your name I assume you are from Japan and this is how it would translate into English?? I'm rather curious... Scott
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No I'm not japanese.
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Ok, just curious because this is no Haiku according to anything I have read or been taught in the Haiku class here at AP. Haiku are 17 syllables maximum, broken up into lines of 5/7/5 or less, never more than that. Haiku are never capitalized or punctuated either and usually have an "Ah-Ha" moment either in the first or third line.
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yeh i know, i wasn't trying to follow the rules. this is a free style bushido production. ^_^
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