Love Didn't Love Me Back

Loving you was like commiting suicide, slowly dying inside because I put my heart on the line. I thought I was your everything, the one you would grant a ring, but instead I was the one you loved to cause so much pain, brainwashed, making my mind go insane. You had me believing that I was the one to blame for the infidelity that you had committed. I knew what was good, but I was unwilling to face it. I was chasing a man who didn't want to get caught, I'm in the dark, standing in this battlefield alone without a force, but yet I still continuously fought.

I wasn't your one and only, I'm going berserk, while you're chasing other women's skirts, leaving me at home feeling unwanted and lonely. I wasn't able to maintain, heartache is what I had gained, shedding this wale of tears, sitting back contemplating on what you put me through all these years. Knowing in my heart that I should leave you, but my mind is playing tricks on me telling me that maybe if I stick around you'll change and be true. I didn't know what to do, so blinded by love, steadily ignoring the signs that the good lord was sending from above.

I didn't know who I should trust, I had came to the point where I was fed up, but at the same time I didn't want to give this thing that I thought was love up. I put my all into this, you were screwing them broads saying they aint about nothing, but yet I was the one that you consistently dissed. That bullcrap you fed me had a chick like me feeling so sick and tired, dude you're an habitual liar, screwing these low budget class ass girls when what you had at home was 10 times flier. Dude I was that deal, but you couldn't see that because fake can't recognize what's real. You'd rather settle for a two piece chicken dinner, when at home you had a three course meal.

I loved you more than I loved myself, eternally dying, stressing, slowly damaging my health. Loving you was like picking up a pistol and putting it up to my dome, slowly pulling the trigger...POW!!..now my life is gone. You were my love, my man, my lover and my best friend. I was your chick, who you didn't wanna truly be with, chose to deal with, whom you loved sleeping with and I was the only one who would put up with your bull ish. I needed you, but you weren't there, I loved you even though you didn't care. Wasting my time, thinking I could change your mind, convinced that this is the best I would get because a good man is so damn hard to find. All I wanted was for you to be real, make me feel like I was that deal. You left me all confused, not knowing what the hell I should do. I stayed for so long because I thought that I could change you, but instead I just changed me. Tears rolling down my cheek, unwilling to leave because I thought this is where I was destined to be. I had to learn the hard way, realizing that no matter how hard I'd work for this it was not going to make you stay. It was time for me to go, this pain I can no longer cope, feeling all strung out like some hype on dope. You do what you do because you know I'll always forgive you. Well, now I'm fed the hell up, because instead of chosing love you chose lust, betraying my trust. I have no animosity towards you, things happen, we live and we learn from the obstacles that we face in life. So, therefore I forgive me and I forgive you, so do you, you are now free, so leave me e, because one day there will be a man who will complete me. It just isn't you and down the road you will see that no chick will be down for you like this chick was boo. Live your life, just without me, enjoy them chicks but they will never love you like me.

When you realize what you had was good, I'll already be gone. Don't expect me to come back like the old days, cause it's official boo, this chick right here is done. I'll leave with no regrets, for you have much respect, this relationship has came to an end, no choice but to accept the fact, that I wasn't where you wanted to be. I wasn't the one you wanted, I was the one whom was beneficial to your needs. Thanx for all the ups and downs, the smiles and frowns, I'm now handing back your crown. I'm thankful to have had you as my first love even if this love did bring me down. I can't quite understand how a man can be so cold, to a woman who loved him the most. No longer biting my tongue, lets just call it what it is dude, because I've come to realize that you are not the one for me, constantly dissing me, making my heart bleed, sold me a dream, fooled me to believe that I was wifey, made me think that you were the one who would embed your seed, but I noticed I wasn't your cold piece. You weren't meeting my needs, when all I expected for you to deliver love, loyalty, comfort, a friendship, trust and honesty.

You made it seem like that was too much to ask for, but you decided to compromise once I was ready to walk out that door. You were looking all upset as if you were the one that got hurt. You were playing with my emotions, trying to convince me that you'[re afraid to lose my love, when the entire time you kicked me around lie dirt. In reality, you are just afraid of losing my sex, you screwing them other broads, but you know my sex is greater and the best. You didn't cry because instead of me staying I said goodbye. You cried because you are selfish, it hurts for you to imagine another man in between my thighs, giving another man a chance to explore what's inside.

All this stress has been lifted off of my chest, I'm not tripping because eventually you'll realize who's love is the best, but when that time comes it will be too damn late. Loving you wasn't good, it was a tragic mistake. You were sent to me for a reason, not for us to last forever, but fot us to just last for a few seasons. To fully understand love's true meaning. Love is making sacrifices and that I was not seeing.

My eyes are now open and its clear to me that love didn't love me back. My heart is not damaged, it can be repaired because all my heart did was crack. Not to become weak, but to stay strong. It took me some years just to realize that loving you was so wrong. You have taught me what to and what not to tolerate in my next relationship. We have lost each other, and have placed a dent in our friendship. I gave my all even though it apparently it wasn't enough for you to love me unconditionally. Instead, the love you gave me in return damaged me both mentally and physically. Love didn't love me back, my love for you is gone and that's a damn fact, we're threw those days are done, there's no coming back because loving me is what a dude like you lacked.