Ballerina why so blue?

i feel blue today
sufficationg in the stillness
chocking on the breathe taking silence

i feel blue today
overcome and overwhelmed with feelings;
compressed and held deep with in

bluer then the crossing over sky
on a hot summers night

the memories haunt my mind
dancing horridly gracefully in between;
the vaper mist that clouds my deafing mind.

Swaying, softly swaying
in between reality and make believe
no definate hold on myself
always losing constantly losing;
this battle i fight with in

i feel blue today
numb with pain
from his screwed up game

i feel blue today
crayola crayon won't come to play
touch touch touch TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH touch touch touch;
then feel.

rewind though all the times;
he made me zip my lips.
tough hands  wrapped tightly around my shaking exteior
quelling all my worries,
but igniting all my fears

showing is more then loving
but loving is more then showing
you taught me what to do
conterfiet kisses
bittersweet lies
you stole my life
wreaked me on the inside

today i feel blue
like fake tears painted canvass
the color of babrie's eyes
empty and cold
all seeing but not all knowing

to give in, then give up completly
so sweetly
is what i want, it's what i need
to die to live
can't make up my mind, not this time
nothing's ever clear
so i'll close eyes;
i'm all ready blind
but i know what you all don't
there's beauty somewhere;
out there not far away
but just close enough to see

there's a beauty out there in everything
even one in me
but for now i rather be blue