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Human

Here I am again: a child
In a world where I cannot belong.
Teach me; tell me
Something in me has always been wrong.
I follow, copy you,
But I don't understand.
To me it's meaningless,
Can't you see?

Here I am again: alone
In a world where I cannot be me.
Taunt me, tease me.
Something's made me never feel free.
I follow, watch you,
But you don't let me in.
I obey without question;
Laugh at me.

Here I am again: so quiet
In a world where I'm afraid to speak.
Make a fool of me:
Something in me makes me so weak.
I follow, idolise you,
But you abuse my naivity.
To me you're perfect.
You hate me.

Here I am again: a stranger
In a world of forgotten faces.
Hate me, isolate me.
Something in me fears these places.
I follow, cautious,
But I'd rather be alone
Than be like you,
Can't you see?

Here I am again: a person
In a world where I can't be calm.
I will try my best to be me.
Something makes me awkward in your arms.
I follow, copy you,
And try to understand.
For me it's difficult.
Bear with me:
I'm trying to be human.

Author notes

I have Asperger's syndrome. This poem is a brief autobiography of my life in terms of my social interactions. Each verse describes me at a different age, roughly: age 6, age 10, age 13, age 15, age 18. I didn't start my diagnostic process until I was 18 so had no help with my social difficulties as a child.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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