If only I stumbled
in darkness,
fell hard over fluid light -
which refused to be a rock,
ready to stop only those
who looked, felt
waves willing to pass,
or come back...
If only I didn't stop for
solid limbs, a shapely leg,
well-formed arm,
carved torso, even
the abstract forms attached
to them, liquid eyes,
murmuring hearts,
so-called gateways to soul...
No time for regrets
as senses wait for
trancendental perceptions,
or better, the light, true light
that awaits at the end,
or beginning,
of the Circle, or Cycle,
or whatever way
you like it.
A contest entry
- when you come... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
400 points, ended October 5, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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fell hard over fluid light -
which refused to be a rock,
Those lines were so abstract and different and beautiful. I loved this write and you did a wonderful job with the prompt. Nice job! -
Interesting write. I liked it andit was different. I like the imagery you portrayed here in your poem. The last stanza I liked the most. You did write for the quote and this is very poetic. Wishing you the best of luck in the contest.
Wishing You Many Blessings,
Kelle Marie
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Humm..the firmness of the thoughts and the sentiments you poured here are very strongly weaved here with a definate message..and that is the strenght of this work..well done..
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The work is replete with "poetic" expression, bearing both abstract and sensual imagery along with good pacing for its contemplations. The "stream of consciousness" of the free verse form is more a small cascade of rivulets that plunge to the final resolution of their thoughts.
"What will be, will be" could be considered fatalistic, but the poet helps us undersand that the end of the journey is not the point the essential point - especially as it may not be an end at all. It is in the moments of the journey that experience in thought and action are realized and should be appreciated.
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Excellent. I hear you, poet!
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Yes, "what ever will be will be, the future is not ours to see" as the song goes.
I liked the deep contemplative tone as it pondered life and the intricacies therein.
Nicely done Jose.
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Hi Joe
It seems the only thing that is straight in life is the way we explain the curves.
Good job here!
John
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WONDERFUL!!!!!!
So much distracts us along our way, in the end though we realize what we truly want most and just let all of these things come and go.
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i really reaaly like this. especially the end.
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