Flirtatious and bright,
a smile with lips luscious and full;
worn by tar filled lollipops and
coffee stained lipstick.
A picture perfect memory,
left cracked, broken and weeping.
Skin once as smooth as silk,
porcelain complexion.
Presently raspberry splotches,
bulging white peaks persist.
A sun-kissed glow faded
and the surface dulled by age.
Voluptuous body and sheen,
locks lasting for days,
transformed into an unraveled rope,
dry and brittle on the ends.
A flowing velvet cascade,
now thirsty for life.
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Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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the imagery is amazing. the poem is dark which adds to its allure. great write!
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19.5 / 25
You have a wonderful tongue for imagery, but I feel that I, the reader, am being completely suffocated by your overt ostentatiousness. You have a great sense of a prose writer, which I have a feeling you might work easier in, but for your reader's imagination, you illustrate a bit too much. You just need to pull back and just let your words take them on a journey all their own. You just need to be the key to the ignition, that's all. -
Ah, speaks to me of the ravaging force of time. Love the imagery in these lines:
[tar filled lollipops and
coffee stained lipstick.]
I think you've stirred some taste in there. Coffee always makes me think of nicotine, cause I always take a cig with my cup. ^.^ A good write, depressing in it's honesty with clear imagery that paints a picture.
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dark
and very sad feeling, but it had amazing imagery in this piece my friend..
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its so... dim. I like the imagery though... you're really good with that, and conveying emothin. Props up Joy.
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