I lay here like an unwanted rose.
Cold waves crash over my woes.
My craving for you is just a must,
Filling my bosom with all my lust.
Forever it seems to me,
True love was what this was to be.
But for now the lights have all went out,
I'm left here in the dark without.
Despite my deepest prevalence,
You say your love was just an act of benevolence.
Left as a river that was just told,
She'll never know what the future has to hold.
Despite how much you meant to me,
I've now lost all lucidity.
Author notes
This isn't as dark as I really intended it to be. But it helped get out a lot of pent up frustration so thank you so much for hosting this contest. It gave me just the prompt I needed.
A contest entry
- Deep, Dark and Lovely by Shantti.
400 points, ended October 6, 2009, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Woo this was excellent. I love the emotion you put into this and how your metaphors work so well with the prompt. I think it has the perfect amount of darkness and you wrote it beautifully. I love the ending stanza. It was the perfect timing with the piece.
Thank you for entering
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it was this poem
wow thank you so much. i'm glad that you liked it. i think that it is one of my VERY BEST writes. good luck to all with the contest!!!
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This is good and nothing helps more than to write how you feel to release the pain that flows within. Things will get better, they always do but there are times that are insane but the clouds disappear and the sunshine wikk once again shine.
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This was really good. I enjoyed reading it. I think this would hve to be my favorite part:
Forever it seems to me,
True love was what this was to be.
But for now the lights have all went out,
I'm left here in the dark without.
Despite my deepest prevalence,
You say your love was just an act of benevolence.
But overall this was pretty good!
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