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mirrored

 

I locked every four letter word
that reminded me of you
in a mirrored room
             and left them there

I expected to hear shooting stars
see thunder

and newborn cries

 

 

 

twenty seven days held their breath
for words being crushed

                     into syllables and letters
then rearranged into poppies and sunsets

still

the door remained closed

and I didn't even dare look

           through the keyhole

Author notes

I was inspired by quite a few of the prompts.
"With what eyes?" was a main prompt, as was "I don't know what to do
two states of mind in me"

In a list

A contest entry

if you have any questions regarding my work, be it word choice, imagery or simply the meaning, please ask and I'll gladly answer :)

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

  • catstar
    October 10

    Edit | Reply
    This is a great poem. It has a lot of ideas flying around in it like the words that were locked in the room. Great work. I enjoyed this piece. Thank you for sharing.


  • musicalmousie
    September 21

    Edit | Reply
    "...twenty seven days held their breath..."

    That's some lovely figurative language you've got going on there. This entire poem is lovely and evocative...

    "I expected to hear shooting stars..."

    "rearranged into poppies and sunsets..."

    Your imagery is unique and beautiful... vibrant enough to be tangible, abstract enough to imply different emotions and make the reader wonder. The length is simple enough to be poignant, and the format and your chosen words make up the complexities. Nice ending... "I didn't even dare..." I like that. It implies that the words locked in the mirrored room are powerful, frightening.

    You went in an interesting direction with the quotes you chose, and I love what you came up with. Great job!


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    September 21

    Edit | Reply
    Again brilliance shines
    your words breathe, the rawness the delicate thoughts of poppies and the sadness too
    Best wishes and good luck

    Julie


  • chilali
    September 21

    Edit | Reply
    awesome imagery! i love your work so much.