I conjure you to journey through my trees
and you, unwilling, walk along the lane --
the road ahead seems shrouded to your eyes,
its foggy figure frowning from the mist.
I blow you wheedling whispers on the breeze
that taunt and tease at what you may attain,
shaped slyly not to spoil the surprise
of every secret turn or stealthy twist.
It lengthens long, my corridor of trees
that vanish into veils sought in vain --
I float their leaves before you, blot the skies,
their boughs loom low in slowly swirling mist.
The towered tree trunks tumble in the breeze
to ruin, yet their golden ghosts remain --
their phantoms fall behind you and advise
of traps I wrap in fog to trip or twist.
These things were me -- the boughs, the ruined trees,
the days that drifted down to drape the lane,
but now I walk unseen before your eyes --
I am the future waiting in the mist.
Author notes
Credit to Arkbear for Phyquain form and instructions.
MUST have 5 Quatrains -
No letter ( a ) in 1st L of each Q -
No letter ( b ) in 2nd L of each Q -
No letter ( c ) in 3rd L of each Q -
No letter ( d ) in 4th L of each Q -
ALL 1st L's must have same end Rhyme -
ALL 2nd L's must have same end Rhyme -
ALL 3rd L's must have same end Rhyme -
ALL 4th L's must have same end Rhyme -
Prompt: Unsure & Foggy Future -
Partly inspired by contest picture -
http://fineartamerica.com/featured/foggy-day-david-april.html
Edited to comply with form rules.
A contest entry
- Poetry Formed LI - by Bear by Arkbear.
1200 points, ended September 22, 6 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
I've never read this form before so it's interesting to me. I try not to be repetitive with wording in my writing so I don't favor the repitition of some of the words. In the form I didn't so much care for the fact that none of the lines within the stanzas rhyme. Other than that it was a wonderful read
Thank you for sharing! 
-
Wow, thanks for teaching me a new poem form.. You verse well.. good theme... and good imagery.. I also see alliteration here.. which adds to it.. Overall, impressed by this..
-
I like it
-
This is amazing! You pulled it off very well. I don't understand the poetic reason for the restrictions but for you to write a poem this well and stay with in the guidelines takes talent. Bravo!
Love,
Amera♥
-
Nice alliteration......not too fond of using the same end rhyme so many times....you took it safe there, I think -
secret turn and stealthy ....*d* does not belong in 4th Line -
to trip and twist......*d* does not belong in 4th Line -
I would pick out a favorite Stanza.....but each one is so strong and stands on its' own so well....best write thus far in this contest.....good luck!
Bear -
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
