Who am I.
My question
rings out into the silence
around me, temporarily
filling the void
both heard and felt.
A life long squandered
until there is nothing
and no one left here with me.
Everything, everyone I have
ever wanted has gone
away, not even a glance back
as they disappear into the blur
beyond the corner of my eye.
Author notes
Wrote this at work after a pretty bad few days
(edited to fix spelling errors)
A contest entry
- Anything and everything by Dryad Enya.
517 points, ended November 10, 217 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8MzHqkNBwo the sorrowful opening and regret of this piano concerto matches with the dark sadness of this poem. Indeed this poem is deep and quite an amazing piece consdering all things, if onyl we could have a little more of it. You've left me on edge, i'm expecting a new sad stream of words to form at your lips, i feel dependant upon it...
best of luck. -
Gosh, I can relate. I know how it feels to be all alone. I'm sorry, it really sucks.
Beautiful poem though
Keep writing!
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Thanks so much, and yes, it sucks being where I'm at. Having to pay for my own shit because I can't trust the medical coverage given to me... Woot.
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Puzzling
It is often difficult to see why a free verse poem was written. What was the poet's intention or his/her aim. Would it have made any difference to have written it out as prose? I note that you have not used punctuation. This tends to result in ambiguity, which is often not really desirable, For example, how do you hear a void? Or, indeed, feel one? Your poem is a wail, and the benefit of a wail is to make you feel better for it. I hope you did. -
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Well, I did use punctuation, except I did not use a question mark after the first line because it was meant as a statement, a thought. Thanks for the review though.
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Thought provoking for sure
Question mark after the first line; It is an interesting combination of bleak words and a colorful background.
I really liked it.
Tecohe
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We all have these days. We build a life and thinks alls ok then one day we look around and it's all gone. Very well expressed and done well with emotion. Hope you have a better day soon. Rose
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well i totally think you can do that now if you want. you might just have to put a little more thought into your poems besides just pure emotion. think about the best word to describe it
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:P
IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!! haha no im just kidding. you should think you write amazing poetry b/c if you dont beleive in what you can do you will never grow -
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I improve myself through reading other good poetry and doing work on my own poetry. Now yes, I do know that I am better at this then a lot of people on this website, but I'm still not that great. I want to be that guy that writes a poetry book that actually sells and people remember, but I'm still a ways off from that.
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What I love most about this poem is that the title speaks so much louder after the poem itself is read. A brutally honest poem that rang painfully true.
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Heh, well, that's because the title of this was origionally the last line, but it didnt sound right when I read it through, so I took it out and made it the title. Thanks for the comment!
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Well it worked out very well!
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wow
cheer up :0) you write awesome poetry i always feel what u are feeling
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Heh, thanks, but I don't think I write awesome poetry
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This is sad - and there are points in my past where I can definitely relate to the feelings behind it. I hope that you find happiness soon. Thank you for sharing!
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Thanks! I'm sorry that you have felt like this, it's not fun.
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