Macabre Madness Goes to the Circus (Part 3)

The Professor looks intently at the colorful flyer that has just been posted on the purple, pus- popping activity board. It doesn’t take long to spark the nose-festering interest of all who are present in the graphic horror TV room. The psychos have gathered to see what has caught the Professors flea-infested attention. The Professor walks over to the computer table where the Queen and I sit, picking our succulent brains. Her new keyboard gleams under the black light. They bought her a shiny new red one so that the blood stains wouldn’t show as much. He says, “Were going to the Greatest Freak Show on Earth”!

While everyone vomits green bile during group therapy, a huge ruckus erupts near the nurses station. As The Queen looks over her shoulder, an evil grin crosses her face. Lo and behold, there stands the Wicked Witch of the West with one of her ass-picking, finger-sniffing, flying monkeys in tow. Heeeeeeeee! I didn’t think she could get any greener when she spotted The Queen. Our newest resident began screaming a disease ridden De-comp-o-sit-ion spell meant to flay the skin off of our most beloved Queen. To no ones surprise, she stood up taking the full force into her mercurial eyes. The spell reflected right back into the Witches eyes and her green skin began to peel right off of her face. Little did the Witch know that while we were in New Orleans, The Queen had her absinthe colored, blood-stained eyes altered to feline silver night vision mode by the local Voodoo Queen in exchange for a live, headless, belly-bursting chicken. That’s the first time we have ever seen an ass-picking monkey laugh his finger-sniffing ass off.

WOOT! WOOT! Circus day has arrived. They have loaded us into the heavily tinted, bullet-proof, meat wagon, complete with a full medication bar, wire windows and shriveled tongue snacks for the freakin paranoid-delusional ass-picking monkey that we were un-freakishly happy to bring with us. The Queen sits regally, with the blood-stained keyboard in her lap, holding the quivering, ass-picking monkey’s leash in her right hand. Since New Orleans, she will not leave the asylum without her beloved keyboard.

We arrive, and to our most heinous delight the midget clowns are there to greet us. If I, the Mistress of Darkness, hadn’t grabbed the flying, ass-picking monkey’s leash from the Queen, it would have humped every clown with a dress on. The show begins………...Intermission arrives and the lights come up, we are all in a state of shit-faced catatonia…….....When the lights go down again, the high wire act begins. The Professor leans over and whispers “Its time to liven this joint up” and with that, I heard a “snip”

The ass-picking, finger-sniffing monkey screeches as he flies to the top of the auditorium. dive-bombing the high wire artists balancing precariously upon on the thin wire, flinging pink elephant snot into their faces. The nurses have abandoned our little group (he, he, he) to try and coax the ass-picking monkey down with the pink elephants, pink-hued snot covered banana treats. The Queen disappears into the control room and the ginormous, big screen play-by-play monitors on either side of the auditorium flicker to life. She has somehow connected her blood-stained keyboard into the master-ass-blaster computer port and is obsessing over a new poem when all of a sudden! Yep! You guessed it! pus-filled, belly-bursting gore flies all over the packed auditorium. WHOO HOO!!!

The professor has wrestled the microphone away from the Ring Master and has begun to spout Horror Movies Facts to the audience. The spotlight shines on him and as he looks up at the round lighted orb, he begins to howl, tearing his clothes off and sprouting hair. The nurses, forgetting about the ass-picking, finger-sniffing monkey, run over to where the Professor is doing his full moon, Wolf Man howling strip tease, fighting for a ring side seat. You Go Girls!!!!

The Lord of Rotted Whales and Lady of Kentucky Dead-Meat Chicken, (recently wed in the Macabre Madness Asylum Cemetery), have wandered into the lion’s cage. I was disgustingly impressed when they had the lion’s, eating blood soaked, pus-oozing, corpse rotting entrails right out of their mouths. I hope the wild life doesn’t follow us back to the Asylum. Here kitty, kitty, kitty.....The Gorgon triplets, Spooky, Catacomb and Corpse are playing ghost, coffin, spikes, to see who will have the great honor of eviscerating the pink-hued, snot covered pink elephant. They are curious to see if its entrails are pale or hot pus-pink.

The last time I looked, the ass-picking, finger-sniffing monkey was wearing a purple wig while humping a wee little midget clown who was hoping that if he played dead, it would go away. Not likely! The ass-picking monkey has traded his  ass-smelling bell-hop suit for the clown’s green-polka dotted dress. Go ahead dude! Try taking that away from him! The Queen has already taught him some bad-ass-picking, fart-stinking, maniacal monkey moves. The Wicked Witch is gonna LOVE that! Heeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

I, The Mistress of Darkness, am actually content to watch this mad melee. What an insanely delicious, eye-popping, brain-rotting, putrid-tasting, Dark-Ass Word Bank this will make!