rain stopped
salt sweet upon the tongue
memories: kisses of passion
you are seeded
soil and blossom
ecstasy:
dew sipped by rainbows
passion fragile
shimmers
moment's heat
6:21 PM
09/20/09
Alexandria, VA
- Dancing in the Flames of Desire group list • next in list
A contest entry
- prewrites contest!!!!!!!!!!!! enter!!!!! by foreveryourslove.
1120 points, ended November 9, 1070 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Please tell me what you think, what it makes you feel, how you are moved.
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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Ummmmmmmmmm! sweet.................love peace & harmony
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Thank you I am honored
Peace & Love,
Tom B.
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tastes sweet and saucy at the sametime
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wow.
that was just beautiful.
thank you Tom, I love this, says so much without saygtin anything really.
leaves the circumstance open and available to the reader, and that's a gift-being able to get the poem to share a secret.
makes no sense, Im sorry.
I need to go to bed, my eyes really hurt.
I love this.
jin -
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Take care of yourself is number one. This is one of those poems I have wanted to write for a long time.
The picture was truly my inspiration. I guess you could call this poem a path to where she is. More than that, it is a revelation. I like that even without the picture it is a catalyst for bring sensation to the reader. You are right there is a secret here.
Love,
Tom B.
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I agree...the minimalist format allowed air and the fragrance of
the lovers to breathe freely; and it was breath-taking to read!
Way to write!
ears/Seattle
May you-be-blessed
with abundant blossoms.
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I rarely do minimalist, because I like as a rule a more lyrical style. This just seemed to require a minimalist style to fit with the title. Glad it struck all the right chords.
Love,
Tom B.
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Lovely trickle to tempt one into envisioning so much more.
Very heady in its delivery. Thanks for sharing. Blue : F
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This is a place where I felt minimalism was best put to use. Temptation is sometimes no more than a breeze upon a cheek, an aroma with promise.
Love,
Tom B.
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Written as the true gentle man you are, ah so refreshing like a drink of clean water.
Delight to be felt by the senses, the very saly sweet i would want my children to understand ..even myself to understand.
(yes i read you comments as always)
This isn't just another hook up this is a taste of what can be what should be.
Love,
~Lisa P~
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Hook ups are an expression of fear or narcissism. When we are able to receive each other as gifts, when another's lonely is not overwhelming your empty -- instead, you come ripe and ready to another who is fallow for the planting of you dreams and ripe and ready themselves. In this feast, you come to the present awakened to all that can resonate as the bells of joy are rung.
Love, Tom B.
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micro, macro, an infusion of dreams here that create the motion of emotion of that ever elusive bottemless well, really liked the idea of a rainbow sipping the dew...
w orange juice
-Jas
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Thanks for stopping by
Suggestion is often far better than telling.
Peace,
Tom B.
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A beautiful poem with simplicity and it hits all the senses. Thank you for your in depth and wonderful comment on my poem.
H
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Long winded comment, short little poem -- wonder which one spoke to your soul. Perhaps they both did in their own way and needed the form they to took so you could hear what they say. There is no magic in make believe, but it can be found on any walk by the sea.
Love,
Tom B. -
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Anything you say speaks to me. I always adore your comments. They are heartfelt and thoughtful
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I love "salt sweet" especially on the tongue. Yes, this poem is filled with earthen splendor. It takes me back to the days of my marriage where everything was new, and revealing. Being married 36 years has me working very hard on discovering new things about us instead of waiting for age to discourage our senses.
"dew sipped by rainbows"I. YES! What sweet surrender engulfs me. You are such the romantic my dear brother/friend. I am smiling all over myself!
Love YOU and the best of luck in the contest!
Always ♥
Renee
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If you can catch the earthy romanticism and the pure delight that waits in this poem, then you are not bored yet.
Often it is not about what you know or will discover, it ain't about anything at all except being there and being thankful.Sing Hallelujah
It only looks like I am laughing again. But of course it will bubble to the surface easily. ...
Love,
Tom B.
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you are seeded
soil and blossom
You made me feel earthy here, Tom. I love to feel earthy. Nicely done.
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Wonderful compliment
We rarely get to feel the gift we are. I think if we could treat each other with the wonder and joy that God had -- even if our own was but a taste -- when we were created, then our children would be dramatically changed in how they see touch and sex. We would not "get it" or "give it up" but treat it as a sacred opportunity to share our being with another and be deeply joyous when we took it for the opportunity to bring forth life. "soil and blossom" are we not both "being" and "spirit," "clay" and "that inextricable link to God?" So should we not both celebrate our shaping and the shape of our mate as well as the forever deep within us?
Thank you for letting me know. It is a wonderful compliment to hear that my simple words put you in contact with a core part of yourself.
Love, Tom B. -
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Your work, and your comments always do that. I agree with what you state here about touch and sex. Often, woman I know will withold it from their man in attempt to 'teach him a lesson'. The bible says, our bodies are not our own. Many times I believe that is why men stray from their wives.
I have never witheld, and he has not either. Well, maybe if we were dire sick or something. We have learned how sacred that time together is. Instead of wasting it, it should be cherished. Society gives such a distorted image of what sex should be. It shouldn't sell anything. It should heal souls, and bring couples closer together.
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Sex is not only multidimensional, but has many aspects and flavors. You have infused this idea into your piece and even your title. You have described well an occasion of empassioned and sweet sex, where sex itself is seen as art, both earthy and heavenly, admired by you. It is a beautiful ode to a multi-faceted phenomenon. Very, very good work.
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When we humans dance in mating's fires, can we be more than Shakespeare's "beast with two backs?" I think so. When we step beyond our needs fed in the excuse of passion's fires, when we slip past our own raw chasm and become wise in the joys of nurture, the magic of discovery, we have a chance to be transported without, first, having to have our barrier collapse from exhaustion.
Flight means more than flee and we discover and energetic being that can separate us from the temple of our aloneness. Maybe, just, maybe I am the madman and spin fantasies across the black and white universe that only knows a pretense of color. But,... I think not.
Love,
Tom B.
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How beautiful and spontaneous!
I am remembering a vivid, vivid rainbow in a sunlit rain-sky last summer. It was extraordinary color, and mist rose off the earth in a shimmer. The promises, the laughter of dreams are like rainbows, curving, rising, and falling back to earth in a sigh for what can not be held, but only given to wings in a shared moment.
Exquisitely soft and evocative....
Karen
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You are a gift
When we read a poem about sex and take the sex out, what is being expressed. Would we want our children caught in that expression.
I have been thinking about it like that lately. Not prudishly or ravenously but more from a outside in position where I find myself looking at what is being shared and if someone read it without knowing what sex was, what would they receive?
This was written to be magical. I think from your response, I caught a little of it.
Love, Tom B.
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steamy-hot
and sizzling
that little
treasure
of a poem..
slips
it in her
pocket....
sweetly
blushing!
ears/Seattle
way to write!
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Thanks for the compliment
I am sure you understand when I say I always want to make the intertwining of flesh and the sharing of deep touches a thing of beauty, an expression of the sacred. When we treat each other as gifts, it will be easy to teach our children to act responsibly in regards to sex.
Love,
Tom B.
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