When the daylights devoured but the moon still glistens
there's a noise to be heard by the roamer who listens
to the darkness that rustles and the dimness that sighs
and perhaps in the parting of the bushes dark eyes
They'll see for a moment a glint or a gleam
a dancing of light on the hint of a dream.
Here in the forest in the wild wailing night
when all but the glowworm is hidden from sight
and the haunting old ballad of the wind in the trees
is lilting and soaring on the bitterest breeze
down in the depths of the silent and sleeping
A peculiar figure comes eerily creeping.
The Shadtyr has been here since the world found its form
and lives in the dreariness, darkness or storm
A figure so pale and deep eyes which burn
with the passion of seeing the long seasons turn
and a thinness which comes from the wasting of years
and a face lined and wrinkled by the drying of tears.
She's a creature of pity though she'll steal a mans life
for passing close by her or cause him such strife
with her sobbing and crying through the nights loneliness
and making him wander from the path in distress
She makes the strange noises you hear in the gloom
that follow you home in the shadow of the tomb
For the Shadtyr is tired of the movement of man
and of creatures and lifeforms and all that began
the peace of creation was disturbed by their din
with their laughing and mating and goodness and sin
She wishes them silent and urges them dead
so the mutter of living will depart from her head.
Until then she lurks in the depths of the night
when the moonshine is deadness and hardly seems light
Where the silence is empty of bird and of bee
and mankind is missing and her soul is more free
and one day she'll die and the world will not know
and when she departs here who knows where she'll go.
Author notes
I went for a mild childrens style verse :-) started off well but didn't get much further.
Hope its not too bad.
Image found at slowmuse.wordpress.com/ 2009/03/16/bird-flight/
A contest entry
- What's in a name? Dark writes! by rrw.
1200 points, ended October 2, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Shadtyr I actually googled this thinking it some mythological creature I hadn't heard of, it directed me to allpoetry should have read the contest prompt.
For the Shadtyr is tired of the movement of man
and of creatures and lifeforms and all that began
the peace of creation was disturbed by their din
I too have often wondered what this world would be like without mankind interfering with nature, not to mention all his bloody wars.
I love the background picture feel I want to search the snow for strange unearthly footprints
I found your poem easy to read with a nice rhythmic flow I want to know what this creature you have created looks like
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This is sort of Poe-ish. Dark and eerie with a sort of song to it. Nicely done.
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Excellent!
You succeeded very well, and, perhapschildishly, I loved the metre. I was so taken with it that I was hoping for an A/N explaining that the Shadtyr was a mythical beast known arounf the Forest of Dean, and that even last year, a local policeman reported having seen it. I am sure , if nothing else turns up, you could do children's poetry: probably where the money is anyway.
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There's lots of wierd things in the forest of Dean but sadly this creature isn't it. In fact it was made up entirely. Maybe I should do a sequel to do with said police spotting incident. Children's poetry is easier in some ways but much more difficult in others.
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Sequel
Yes! The moment had had finished typing, I wished I had suggested a sequel. Maybe because I was brought up believing in the wail of the Banshee, I liike the idea of an English and more complex version. I have long been tempted to knock out something about the Green Man , and other such ancient figures.
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Oh, oh, my, this is so wonderful! Superb meter and a marvelous and mysterous tale... just and excellent write and I loved, loved, loved it!!!
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YEP!
A, I love the way you write. There is a pure sense of structure as art. The clean phrasing is in itself worth the price of admission. Each line flows like a verbal river... which brings me to the main point, I think, of the piece which to me reads as a story about how mankind has treated nature. The Shadtyr to me appears to be the spirit of nature... that is about ready to give up on us noisy humans! Is this a dark write? To me it is. it speaks in subtle, philosophical terms, but has a wide heart. The opening stanza really sets the stage for this wonderful, magical piece. And the closing stanza contains the warning and opens up the possibility of death to all and not just to the Shadtyr creature. And I really love the idea that we humans do not even know that this creature exists... only the storyteller and the reader have a clue. Lovely all the way through.
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