Expectations emptied by bitter winds
rim the cloistered dark as glitter in harsh pour
where she is prone, unable to curl
or recall the fetal curve of comfort
given to self.
There is lonliness in the fade
when all the intensity of past days
press~in, derelict slush grays
to conflict brief flickers of always known.
Beliefs adjourn, their wail as far sirens
and the tidal tears seem so distant
while salt glistens as it licks burn to eyes.
And she knows that demons listen
viper tongues amid shadows that deride stars
those white suns she wished upon
for a father figure that wouldn't pale,
for bliss that would not bend in the biting snows
of love let~go...
For a mirror that ranged beyond the failure conceived
to string an infinity of former selves, offering
{soul-sister strength}.
But those stars are long swallowed
in roars of shame; leaving her marred
and molded onto winter's cracked panes
...Alone
the ruined heart shudders, defiant no more.
Author notes
prompt: "When a hand is stretched out to pick the flower, the stem quivers, and seems in effect to shrink back and offer itself at the same time. The human body shares something of this trepidation at the moment when the mysterious fingers of death are about to gather in the soul."
Image Credit: "Dying for Their Death" by Estrella Felina
In a list
A contest entry
- Les Miserables Quotes by iamlost.
700 points, ended October 22, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
Oh, this is gorgeous. I love the sorrow and pain in this piece, and the ending is so haunting. I especially loved the lines "And she knows that demons listen/viper tongues amid shadows that deride stars/those white suns she wished upon", but this whole piece is such a gem. I can take so much from this.
Thanks for the entry,
~lost
-
I cannot help but be left in tears after reading this. It touches parts of my life I have placed in my past, have long let go of, yet can still find their voices hiding when I least expect it.
Wonderfully emotive to the given prompt, which in itself holds more grief and sadness than one can bear. You have written so well here my friend. Excellent work. ~Pamela
-
-
Thank-you for finding a personal place in my work...
It means so much more than a general liking. Then
I can assume those voices will remain and maybe that
is a good thing. Thanks for sharing on so many levels.
Blue
-
-
stunning
I was carried away, between the sea and the night sky my obsession well defined
Beliefs adjourn, their wail as far sirens
and the tidal tears seem so distant
while salt glistens as it licks burn to eyes.
-
The generation of words that lead to the final defiance is the important part of this poem. Like the poet standing tall in the rubble of discontent, leaving it behind with resolve. The declamation of divestment of defiance is the contra of how this reader sees the poets intention. The poet is actually defiant because of the ability to spill out the dissatisfaction so creatively. True poetry cleans the heart for new adventures.
michael
-
Primo Poetry
The prompt was delved into deeply fed by past wisdom gained in trials by fire in this exemplary artistic piece. Meaning...one had to of experienced the beauty of living to have felt the loss so acutely and expressed it with such exquisitely elaborate descriptions. Kudos to you dear Poetess for such potent passion in penning.
-
The thoughts that we might have upon facing death, might be found among your words, "prone" unable to curl in a natural position, alone. Rules set upon us no longer matter, random images of what was once held dear, might flicker meaningless. "...an infinity of former selves" Our wishes never attained, if our consciousness holds any with value anymore. Some might welcome death at this point, like that flower leaning to be picked. I believe you have taken the prompt to even greater clarity. It ends with such finality, defiant no more. A great write presented in your style.
-
This was a very difficult prompt to capture so poignantly and deeply, not to mention spiritually, but you did, in perhaps one of the few ways that it can be captured. You more than nailed this prompt, you took it to that level beyond, that makes a person think and wonder, if it will be this way for themselves at some point. An unknown future of possibility, of a bridge that has not been crossed yet. If a person has reached this point, and yet survived, then they are lucky indeed. I can see why this is so aptly titled. The spirit knows what is to come, both fearing it, and welcoming it at the same moment. We drop our resistance when faced with the possibility of death, but yet the spirit lingers having abandoned the alternatives. If I'm way off in my interpretation of this, then you can honestly tell me.
~Hettie
-
-
More figurative death then literal...
I hoped to capture the death of spirit as it applies
to our vibrancy and hope in life. The resistance is lowered,
but here, it is when we let our guard down to love thinking
that joy will be forever, that it will sustain us to our graves.
Contemplative (I hope) in its tone, the verse is meant to be
bent to different perspective, so there's no such thing as "way off".
Just saying you feel I captured the prompt satisfies me...
But then you go beyond with sincere response to my words
ensuring that I feel special. Thank-you so much dear sister.
-
-
ah yes, the applauses
-
in the fade
as glitter in harsh pour
as it licks burn...
tongues amid shadows
that deride stars
Beliefs adjourn...
bend in the biting snows
swallowed in roars of shame;
leaving her marred
curious, interesting and intriguing use of verbs as nouns, forcing reader pauses and comtemplations. wealth of turns, images and gesticulations .... vibrant even searing images. a journey taken that shudders, perhaps leaving the traveler also marred, until fur shaken like river dog,
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
