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Part I : They are comming

One wondered shore, lone in night
As darkness shone, far to bright
Where wind blew cold, by the tide
And day grew mold, as she cried

“Alas the day had gone too far
And mists had homed another star!
The roar now fills again my woe
I can not stay I can not go!”

“T’ is what reason thou must run? –
Voice as treason heard she dun
And why alone here must lay
Art thou forlorn, or astray?”

“Know not spirit, thou woe or pain
Or of my soul now what is bane
I stand alone where waves do heave
From what thou do I ask thou: leave”

And voices gently whisper in the sand
This guest would never listen to her words
But voices came along from distant land
And left he than alone her to her worlds

Author notes

This is one of my attempts to create a poem on foreign language. Though barely complete, with myriads of weak points (especially the end) I will continue if asked.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

  • DrifteroftheSun
    September 20
    Edit | Reply

    "do you know what grammar and punctuaton is?"
    No, I am illiterate.


  • individuality gold member
    September 20
    Edit | Reply
    stop trying to be my friend.

  • individuality gold member
    September 20
    Edit | Reply
    “Know not spirit, thou woe or pain
    Or of my soul now what is bane
    I stand alone where waves do heave
    From what thou do I ask thou: leave”

    And voices gently whisper in the sand
    This guest would never listen to her words
    But voices came along from distant land
    And left he than alone her to her worlds


    do you know what grammar and punctuaton is?