Known Only To Me by Wickedruby1 at All poetry

In the deepest recesses of my mind are places

so dark I won't even let myself go there

I am afraid if I go I will not be able to get back

sometimes I have to make a physical effort

to keep control of my emotions and actions

I want to say and do things which would hurt

things which I would never be forgiven for

I want to tell my children just exactly

what I think of them and their daddy

God Help Me

I wanted to tell my mother before she died

just how mean and unfair she had always been

with me and my family, and how lenient she

had been with my brother and sister

I wanted to tell my daddy, his little girl who

he beat with a wet rope that I had needed

him but was too afraid to go to him

I didn't know if he would help me or hit me

I have wanted to damn God to Hell for the

things he lets happen to us here on earth

and ask him why he has made it all but impossible

to ever inter Heavens doors

and why he made woman second rate

to have to follow behind her man and be

his helper and subservient wife

These are the dark places I can go

but I don't because I have a choice

and I choose not to damn myself.

Author notes

I am strong person, I have had to be to keep my family together

A contest entry

SHOW ME YOUR DARK SIDE by esroddo. 900 points, ended September 25, 14 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Give Me The Scoop Of Madness!!!! by lesbian-in-love. 400 points, ended October 3, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest

I do believe in free will and we are not lost because of our thoughts

Comments

1 - 13 of 13

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Aalta
October 16

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WOW .... this is a poem so strong in contents and emotions... and everything. One way is to live in the darkness and one... to come out of it victorious. and you have done and doing the second... kudos to you... this is such a great write

Women have to be strong in every step... from the morning breath to the last step they take into bed. every moment is a challenge grater than the challenges faced by most other creatures God has made... It is so unfair at times....

I really like this piece ... It seems you had a lot to face ... all the best with all you have and all you do ...

with best wishes - Aalta
TerriMac
October 3
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Gosh what a get ' get it off your chest' poem ! I think I should do this weekly it would be so cathartic! A great read
lesbian-in-love
October 1
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This was really good and enjoyable to read. Thanks so much for entering and best of luck to you in the contest.
darlee77
September 26

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Bravo! One way to stay in a horrible past, is to wallow in it. We can't change the past but we can create a new future. Very good. God bless.
- Wickedruby1
  September 29
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  Thank you dark parts of us reside very deep and are usually well hidden
majic1
September 25
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God doesn't make people do anything. Free will. Strongly written though.
- Wickedruby1
  September 25
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  I mean God took his hands and made woman from dirt and Adam's rib
Rick Weston
September 25

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your dark side on display in this work, but with the restraint to make a lesson of the recognition you deposit in the lines. a well written poem.
esroddo
September 23

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Amazing write of those dark feelings
Life sometimes is not fair, and we wonder why all the pain and unjust treatment falls upon us. But Some times all that pain is to make us even more strong and to help the weaker members of our family survive. And your right in your concept that you need to be strong for your family. Even if that dark side reaches out and temps us to the dark side. As Women we are the survivers of this world. Thank you so much for entering and good luck. LISA
laura0757
September 22

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I read this, and found it to be so true, and women were not made second rate, we are the peace keepers on our planet, we are the ones to bear children, and with this comes joys, and constant worries. I can relate with this work, and this is what writing is all about, being able to relate, or its nonsence to my ears, this is not. You sound like you went through a lot in your life up until now, but I am sure you came out of it a stronger person and a better writer, if not for experiences bad or good, what would we writng about any how. that matters. a pleasure to read.................
aboomer
September 20

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I really like the depth of complete honesty in this - I think so many women can relate to it, unfortunately.
I think we all have those dark places in our minds that we don't dare go near (and if we were condemned for our thoughts - we would ALL be lost!).

I'm glad you are a strong person and have kept your family together - good for you!
Very well done!

best wishes in the contest
Tawni Risley
September 20

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WOW!
I love how dark, angry, subconscious, damning, and completely sad this poem is! WOW! That's all I can say at the moment. It's so strong, so alive, that when you wrote it, you felt as if SO MUCH was lifted from you...at least I'd feel that way. This is beautifully written and completely unexpected.

Amazing. I hope you continue to be strong - even though, as women, we go through things that are so hard - we are strong, and we handle a lot more in this world to be leaders or to be looked up to. As you conquer something as a woman, you become a lot more independent and it feels so much better because it was done.

Good job in keeping your family together.
(And I'm not a sexist. lol. Just my thoughts on the matter.)

Thank you for sharing.
Tawni
- Wickedruby1
  September 21
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  Thank you for the review, women have to be strong and hold things together even if it means giving up on some things important to the,.