I'm shocked, appalled, outraged and aghast
Because a car that was traveling way too fast
Plowed into mine while parked at the curb.
But the court blamed me! I'm so perturbed.
The other driver said I was in front of a tree.
Can you believe that? How blind can he be?
Then he said he thought my truck was a mirage.
Man, why did I have to paint it in camouflage?
I really can't remember what made me do it.
It was a nice turquoise before I did that to it.
I was a little drunk and I just watched Platoon.
I was sure an enemy invasion would happen soon.
But it never came! Just imagine my chagrin!
What an embarrassing situation I was in.
I kept searching the skies for an enemy plane
Ready to hide in the forest when they came.
But years went by and the damn peace lasted!
My truck and I became even more lambasted.
The laughing stock of the entire neighborhood.
Another great freedom fighter misunderstood.
So I'm shopping around for brand new wheels
Among a dazzling variety of automobiles.
It can be white, black, or anything in between
But I'll tell ya, brother, it ain't gonna be green.
A contest entry
- Where are you? Military humor! by condor.
700 points, ended October 2, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Ahahahahaha!!!!! I have always WANTED a camo truck!!! If my dreams are ever accomplished, I must remember not to park in front of trees!
This is so funny! Awesome!
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Now if you can supply me with the paintshops phone number, I know a few disco's that could do with a new paint job.
This just hits the humour bone, bang on the button.
Your rythym and ryhme brings the piece into class I appreciate, so well done.
The content is also to my liking, reminds me of a landrover that had a small bump with another skrimmed up unit, I swear to this day, I never even saw it, so 10/10 to the squaddie who cam'd her up, two days pay could have paid towards goggles I never knew i needed,,
keep the quill warm and keep'em coming.
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Funny, excellent use of rhyme!!
Sadly however, it reminds me that I still have to submit an insurance claim for a car I hit that was parked on the curb, I just reversed into it... D'oh!!! Totally my fault, I have an annoying habit of reversing into things!
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Well, if you insist on parking your car in a dangerous place, you must accept it will be a target for speedsters. I am shocked at the ugly picture you have posted, Mark. Is THAT thing what passes for a car?
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It's a parody, Barry ol' pal. That car is just something I pulled off the internet to illustrate the poem. You seem to be in a bad mood. Did another date die in some gruesome fashion? Maybe you should write one about cavorting in the woods and having her run over by a camouflaged truck neither of you saw coming. lol (Do I sense a collaboration possibility???) Judging by your profile pic, you know all about camouflage. You look like an undercover special ops soldier skiing in China.
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I used to be in the Army National Guard, so this image had me rolling.
I'd give this one a gold in two shakes of a grenade. The first stanza reminded me of how my wife was telling me about the 66 GTO she used to own before we met, until it got plowed into while it was parked. She heard the crash from inside her friend's house, but the dumb ass who hit it took off. It was completely totaled. I would have been livid, too. Your poetry always leaves me laughing my ass off. Best wishes to you in this contest!
Don
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my neighbor has a truck like that...
this was very witty, made me smile. lol.
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Haha. Well done. I got a kick out of this one. I wonder though, is this something you cold trade in on cash for clunkers? Or would you feel guilty for scalping the taxpayer? Very nice.
Mike
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Thank you for making me laugh ...Can just picture this...Hazel
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This is a really good piece and so funny. Poor guy was doing his best ready for the attack, but the damned enemy chickened out and left looking like a goose! I loved this. The rhyme and the rhthm of this piece was great and the voice you gave this guy was really great cause it sounded like he was a little bit peeved. Top poem. I thank you so much for entering the contest and wish you the very best.
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Cute
Oh what a laugh this gives me, because I needed something to laugh at. I had a creece salad green car once. I have had several green cars and now I have a Sterling Silver PT Cruiser. Keep penning these funnies.
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You so funny. Yeahhh, I often wonder about the driver who's driving a camo'd vehicle. Who they hidin' from? And why? And how can they be so blind as to think we cannot see them??? 
Good luck in the contest, ya nut. 
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