Sad Again

It is nearing that time once again
I know it is two months away but still to close for comfort
I haven't been on here for a while
I had forgotten about my picture I have

When I saw it when I came back on here
I started to cry
I miss him so much
What was I thinking!?

I am an idiot,
I proved it right then and there
Saying no to something I didn't hear fully
It was just an early morning with me making an egg sandwich, nothing interesting happening

I haven't made an egg sandwich in forever now
It makes me to sad to think about it
People don't understand me, my mom is one of them
They don't understand that it is still hard for me

To think about him, to see his pictures, to talk about him
It took me a whole year to get over a dog I was AFRAID to love
This one I truly loved with all my heart and was one I held near and dear
I even made promises to him I cared so much

I should have known better than to love a dog that much
You would think that after three times I would learn?
Everyone says I should be over Z by now
I can't though, I will never forgive myself

I was his savior to him
I saved his life from that horrible puppy-mill
Then I promised to never get rid of him
Then what do I do!? I go and get rid of him

Once I fully realized the circumstances it was to late
My mom had already made the plans to go right after we left on the bus
I skipped school that day, the sad thing is that
I didn't have a shoulder to cry on the next day

I was alone on my team, no one to talk to
No one to understand my pain and hurt
I sat there surrounded by people with friends, crying a never ending song of
I love you, I miss you, why did I do that? You didn't deserve that

Never again to see his face again, never to hear his small bark again
I will most likely never will be able to own another Chihuahua or yellow dog without getting upset
I am stupid, that is as simple as that
On November 19, 2009 I plan on wearing ALL black
To show I am stupid and I am mourning over something I could have prevented....