I Hate You (Monologue)

Part I
I hate you.
I hate your mocking blue eyes
I hate your stupid red hair.
I hate the look on your face.

I've got it by now, you will never care.
Not about me. Not in any way, shape
Or form will your heart ever think anything
About me. Not even in friendship.

Yet your words constantly tell me,
As if I'm stupid,
That nothing about me can ever make you feel
Anything but contempt.

I love you. Or at least I did.
I cared about you, as a friend.
I always have,
And I always will.

But you can be a real jerk sometimes.
At least to me, because I've never
Seen you be mean
To another of your friends.

But I'm not your friend,
Am I?

Part II
You say you don't know what I'm talking about.
Yes you do. Look in your heart, you know it.

I love you. Not in a romantic way, never again.
I've moved on.
But I look across the room and in your eyes
I hate you. And I'm cursed with loving you.

I don't rationally know why I want to be your friend.
Nothing can come of it. Except another broken heart.
Because for you it seems to be "all or nothing".
And its pretty obvious what you've chosen.
Nothing.

I want someone to care about me, but your just another
Person who says that they don't.
Reminders that the world is cold and dark and love has no power.
I'm just a stupid idealist.
And melodramatic.

I haven't made up my mind about you.
But you drive me insane.
Because I'm torn in half
By someone who doesn't even care.

Part III
You. I love and hate you.
And what's gone wrong is as much my fault
As it is yours.

But show a little kindness
Because rejoicing at my death
Is just cruelty to hard to bear.

Hearing those hateful words come from your mouth
Is killing me. And you're happy to do it.

But its all just an act, I hope
For you play it so well.
I'm not surprised.
With the many faceted lives
We all lead.
Sometimes the truth becomes buried beneath
All we pretend to be.

Keeping the lies up is exhausting
But what else is there to do?
Because the truth scares us.

The words we write scare us
Because they are
A lie that reveals the truth
In the most warped way possible.

Hatefulness, those biting words.
I wish I could take back min,
The things that I've said that have
Hurt. You and everyone else.

But do you want to take back yours?

Or are they the truth, that you don't care?
Not about me.

Because these words are true.

I do hate you sometimes.

But I will always love you.