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Behind Closed Eyes

(A slight excerpt from Ozzy's ''If I close my Eyes forever'' With thoughts of our own)
(Like it ...or hate it...We do not care)

 

My words...In Green.

Hers..In Purple?

 

 

Collaborated by:
Myself, the MaddHatter
And xXEmoCupCakeXx, The Hostess.


If I could close my eyes forever...
will it all remain unchanged....
if i closed my eyes forever...
will it all remain the same..



if i closed my eyes forever..
will they ever see inside me?...
if i close my eyes forever..
will it ever set me free..


If I close my eyes forever,
will the world ever see my pain...
If I close my eyes forever,
then who's to take all the blame?


If i close my eyes forever,
will i fade from this mirror ...?
If i close my eyes forever,
will i finally disappear?

 

If I close my eyes forever,

Who will be the Hero... ?

If I close my eyes forever..

Should I let my grip on the world go?

 



If i close my eyes forever,
who'll save the worthy... ?
If i close my eyes forever,
shall i still join thee?


If I close my eyes forever,
then the world will see nothing but painted lies....
If I close my eyes forever...
Then shall I let  world shall divide?



Like it...or not...As I said.
Our thoughts.
Mixed, blended and created.


This shows your own inner truth. Can you face yourself?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Kari-chan
    September 26
    Edit | Reply
    This was great Matty
    Keep it up


  • TwiztidMaggot
    September 19
    Edit | Reply
    This is pretty damn good. I like how you wrote it. Keep up your great work!!!

    TwiztidMaggot


  • AbundantBetrayals
    September 19

    Edit | Reply
    Last stanza by MaddHatter the last line in it I think you may be missing a word;
    "Then shall I let world shall divide?"

    Other than that the poem was well written, collaboration is difficult but you made this flow so wonderfully it makes it look easy. Well done to the both of you,
    ~Betrayals


  • Nyx Kerethas gold member
    September 19

    Edit | Reply
    It does make one think. If one happens to be the one to save, then forever will the world be destroyed. If one closing one's eyes forever is the salvation of the world, then they have to choose whether they can make that sacrifice. Very rich, deep, and imaginative. I'd expect nothing less from the best.


  • Everlasting Ellen
    September 18

    Edit | Reply
    Change the background.... the green and the orange isn't very easy for me to read on the gey/blue... what about a paler colour or something/ Whatever suits you...

1 - 5 of 5