Anxieties

All of them hate me
Violent self-esteem
Oh, how I long for connections
Instead, I hide away
Disturbed doesn't begin to describe
Always worried of embarrassment
Nervous around unfamiliars
Too scared to speak

Don't leave me, I'll do
Everything to keep you near
People have hurt me before
Everyone's been through it, they say
Not like I have
Disconnection is my greatest fear
Embrace me, I'm needy
Now everybody states
That I am too clingy

Obsessed with perfection
Boys don't often
Starve themselves
Everyone seems to think
So quick to overlook
So quick to dismiss that
I'm distracted by the details and the
Variants of being perfect like
Everyone wants me to be
Can they really be so blind?
Of course, I want to get things done but
My mind often interferes, still
Procrastination is what they call it
Useless lists of trivial meaning
Litter the floors
Scattered like my brain
If I could just be flawless
Vicious are the thoughts that
Enter my mindless obsessions