Passing Time

Sad eyes never stop slanting,
Lonely hearts constantly skipping beats,
Lonesome beliefs of faith never come by,
Smiles gravitate from lives,
Forever to no return,
And spirits never elate from this,
Time machinating to make worse,
Of a situation not controlled,
Maelstroms of lies, secrets, favortism,
Not to mention deceit and criticism,
Stick to a family like permanent glue,
Nothing to wash or take away,
This is what I call home,
A home not wanted but chosen for purpose,
Taking every obstacle thrown my way,
Welcoming memorable wounds and bruises,
A malediction hanging around my neck,
Like a dogtag identifying who I am,
Never able to feign the world,
With the clever chicanery up my sleeves,
Convicting myself of unheard felonies,
Unable to break habits of conflicting pain,
Suffering from attempting to carve,
A fresh new path in my life,
Rain can no longer parish intense,
Conflicts and false prodigies,
My anxiety became pre-existent,
To my dominant insecurity and paranoia,
Slowly ligating the flaws I have,
Precluding wounds to heal,
Too many silenced tears have,
Stained the pillow I rest my weary head,
Reminding myself to get rid of the,
Mask I made shelter behind,
It lingers around like stagnant,
Water against stones of beauty,
Making it difficult to lose the horrid smell,
The stains that pierce the skin,
Like invisible sharp daggers,
Unsure if the treatment is damnable or not,
Although I've remained magnanimous,
To everything encircling me including those,
Who have downgraded me,
And underestimated my capabilities,
Self-esteem deduced it would never,
Be present in the life of mine,
Not caring how I shred and tear,
At myself only in fiasco,
Can't macerate my mind or thinking about possibilities,
Pressuring myself into situations not desired,
Letting users volunteer me for deeds,
I know I can't accomplish,
I can't feel rued to remnants untold to the listening,
The wind stirs today,
Sending a message my way,
Informing me to make haste,
And like fallen leaves I turn away from past things,
Becoming part of the flowing wind,
In the night,
Coldness whips against my face like leather strips,
I will not leave tracks in the soft white snow,
I'll disappear like shadows casting upon walls,
Exposing themself enough to tease,
You with extreme wonder,
I'd steal hearing away from those I pass,
Making sure I sneak by,
Just to get out of this environment I feel I don't belong,
Not looking back nor thinking of,
Missing anyone I leave behind,
If I could melt your heart with,
Facial expressions so promising,
And touching your mind in every way,
I'd wish that you'd come along,
And travel the world with me,
We'll grow together like,
Sweet honeysuckle in the spring,
I'll turn in my valuables to,
Run away with you and create a new life,
Involving just us two supporting each other,
And promising to never abandon one another,
Thinking about this lovely thought,
Would stop me in my tracks,
Because I know it might not occur,
The constant wanting you around,
Has become a debacle not even magic,
Could stir in the right direction desired,
On the verge of breaking down,
And running away from life itself,
Besides facing it with no fear,
I decide to let this thought desintegrate,
Into the air like black ash,
Soon to land in a place of peace