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Toys(R)

I will pull you in.
I will bring you down.
I will make you cry out.
I will keep you around.

I am known for my love.
When I want you,
I take you.
And torture you sweetly
All night long.

You will be mine for the night.
And in the morning I will
Have you again.

And you will cry for more by the end!

Such is the extent of my love.
Love kept for my sweet toys.
So, tell me,
Would you like to be my favorite one?

your oppinion?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • Jack Fell Down
    November 9

    Edit | Reply

    Good

    You keep a strong rhythm without confining to a strict stanza structure. I like the "gypsy" like feel you allow your poetry. Great lines truly.

    I like the lines
    "I will make you cry out.
    I will keep you around"

    It seems like sweet implicit torture. To my imagination I can almost see many different meanings for this piece beyond what you have written. Very nicely done.


  • KyeosheZ
    September 29
    Edit | Reply
    HOLY SHIT. that pwns.